Chapter 53

Alexi is watching me closely; I can feel those eyes boring into the top of my skull, yet I cannot bring myself to look back at him. My heart is aching, and my body is yearning. I feel exposed and naked—ashamed. I feel like he has ripped the rug from under me, and I’m sitting here with nothing else to hide from him.

You can’t change what is done; the only way forward is to let it go. I’m not there anymore; he saw a long-done and dusted ordeal from years ago. What Alexi did should be shelved with it all as something to forget. I’m not there; we’re not there anymore, and much like the shock of his having my journals, the shock of knowing this will pass too. The pain of his cruelty will follow. I can’t undo it, and crying over it will fix nothing.

Alexi killed the son of a bitch and destroyed all that tied me to him. In doing so, he redeemed himself a little. He did me a favour and did precisely what he set out to do. He removed a monster from my shadows and burned all the n