Chapter 4

Zara’s POV

Earlier, I was shocked when he asked if he was adopted. I was speechless for a moment because I came up with a better explanation, to make him understand the situation even at his age. After our heart-to-heart talk, he voluntarily came with me to the dining room. We are with gusto!

"Mom, your cooking is the best! Especially fried chicken,” he complimented my cooking before taking a big bite of the fried chicken.

I chuckled and then wiped the side of his lips.

"Eat slowly young man. You don't want to choke right?"

"Okay, Mom."

After enjoying the food that I cooked for him, I took out our favorite cake. He loved sweets but since I didn’t want to ruin his teeth, I decided to learn baking, to have better control of the sugars. I baked him cupcakes with different flavors, but we both loved the red velvet one.

All of a sudden, my cellphone rang, and there was a video call request from Nicholas Rutherford. For a moment, I was hesitant to take the call. It has been a long time since we talked, but he’s a friend.

"Hi, Nick!"

He smiled handsomely. It's no wonder that way back in our college days he was the talk of the female students at Emerald University.

"Hello my beautiful best friend," he greeted with his signature playful smile.

I immediately looked at his blue eyes, he got them from his British father. Then, suddenly I became uncomfortable looking at him. Was it because of Antoinette’s suggestion to date him?

“How are you doing?” I asked, subtly changing the topic.

He acted like he was hurt. As far as I know, he’s currently in another country for the launching of his new brand for clothing line. I wished we could talk just like in the past but when I glanced at Enrique, he seemed to be disappointed.

“Who is that, Mom?” he asked.

“It’s Uncle Nick,” I replied, but before I could explain further, Enrique rudely took my phone.

"Hi, Uncle Nick!"

I know that Lucas prohibited me from talking to anyone but Nick was an exemption. We were friends for a long time. Besides, I have no interest in Nick for a romantic relationship.

"Hey, buddy. How're your studies?" Nick was all smiles. In fact, Nick has been more of a father than Lucas.

I remembered the day I was about to go into labor. I almost writhed in pain and my irrigation water burst. I tried to reach Lucas, but he was nowhere to be found. He was on a date with his girlfriend because it was her birthday.

I had no choice back then but to call Nick, and he didn’t hesitate to pick me up and brought me to the hospital. He and Antoinette were with me for almost a few hours after giving birth.

I don't want to think about the past. My chest is too heavy. I shed a lot of tears for Lucas Blackwood. While Nick was talking to my son, I couldn’t help but wonder if I ended up with Nick, and not with Lucas. Would I be happy? Would Enrique be happy?

After they talked, Enrique ended the call without returning the phone to me. The call was already disconnected when he handed it back to me. Then, he excused himself to continue watching the television show.

I was supposed to wash the plates when Nick called again. For a moment, I was tempted to ignore the call, but then, I couldn’t.

“Wazzup, Nick? You called again,” I said.

"You know that Giselle is one of my clothing models, right? Your husband is also here to support her,” he told me, but I wished he didn’t bother.

I felt a new weight in my chest. And it is painful... I thought there was no pain because I was used to it.

"It's fine...he told me about it,” I lied to save my face but Nick suddenly became furious and raised his voice.

“No, it is not fine, Zara! Are you crazy? I just told you that your husband is cheating on you, and then, you will tell me that it’s fine? What’s wrong with you?”

When Nick raised his voice at me, the tears that had been brewing for a while now willingly ran down my cheeks. Nick looked at me through the video call with confusion and pity in his eyes.

"Hey, Zara. Listen to me, buddy. Don't you cry for that idiot! Hey, stop crying,” he asked me.

"I-I'm fine. It's because of you,” I told Nick.

“Why do you cry for the bastard? Divorce him,” he suggested.

“I think I will,” I said, and then I lied about Enrique calling me.

The call ended. Supposedly, I would stare into nothingness while imagining Lucas with Giselle, being sweet with one another, or even kissing in public.

However, this time, I reacted differently. I picked up the plates and brought them to the sink. Last week, I had a mad, but only God knows what Lucas did to the maid because she suddenly went AWOL. It had always been like that. He would never oppose hiring a maid, but then, he would encourage the maid to AWOL.

After drying the plates on the white mat, I joined Enrique in the living room. Together, we watched cartoons, and when it was time for snacks, I stood up to get some refreshments.

Whenever Lucas was not home, I would be free to be lazy. No one would tell me what to do.  I knew that what Lucas was doing has an emotional and psychological impact on my son and me, and yet, I was hesitant to leave him for good.

For every special day in Enrique’s life, Lucas would never bother to show up. My son never experienced spending time with his Daddy during birthdays, and other special occasions.

Just like me, it seemed that Enrique wouldn’t experience a father’s love, and it was heartbreaking. However, I couldn’t just blame Lucas for our dysfunctional family. It was all my fault.

I should be the one to be blamed, and Enrique should hate me more. Oh God, I was confused by everything. Was it really my fault? Was everything my fault from the start?