Chapter 83

PRESENT

Johanna was paralyzed with pure horror. She smelled terrified. She didn’t even stop the recorder when she asked her question, her voice a little trembling:

“Nikolai, did you really say all those things to your father? Why?”

I sighed long and ran my hands over my face to clear my head.

“I exploded,” I responded firmly. “I had always doubted him, his honesty, his intentions… the doubt led me to pure anger. It was going to happen sooner or later. Rhiannon later told me that therapy should help me channel it in a more controlled way, but she couldn’t predict when I would succumb. It was a disaster.”

“The children didn’t see you like that, right?”

“God, no!” I replied, disgusted with myself. I turned to look at her and slowly reached out to touch her fingers, cautiously. Johanna didn’t tremble when I touched her, but she couldn’t remain impassive either, and that mortified me. “I mean, I don’t think so. They only know that, a few days later, we