Chapter 52

I wanted to have him close, to feel his protection. Perceive again the greatness that only I saw, and wanted to continue seeing.

I thought it would be okay if he just let me hug him. I didn’t have the head to expect anything more from him, nor did I care to think about it. All of me was shaking again, and I felt weak, stiff, eager to explode; and I did it. I cried. I cried to free myself, to expel everything I had been accumulating in those frenetic days.

I broke down into sobs, trusting in his warm refuge and not caring about anything else.

But when I thought that Ivan was just going to stand there, simply resisting my weight, he raised his arms and wrapped me around too, one hand on my waist and the other on my shoulder blades. I felt a weight on the top of my head (it could have been his chin or cheek, I don’t know), and I knew that he was also hugging me as I did, with the urgency of reaching peace. The way he pressed me against his body. His heat. The rustic,