Chapter 30. Time Doesn't Heal Wounds

BELLADONNA

I stared up at the ceiling, blinking repeatedly, the blanket drawn up to my chin, the air conditioner off, but I still felt cold. It wasn't a physical cold. It was the kind of cold that was deep-rooted, that has lodged itself deep inside my soul. 

What was I doing? What was wrong with me? What was this feeling in my chest? Why did everything with Kade feel so… overwhelming? Why did it feel so intense? 

For the past five or so years, I've felt… shallow, like I had this hole in me that just wouldn't be filled no matter what I poured into it. It just kept taking, and taking, and taking, leaving me with nothing, leaving me empty and wanting more. 

I think that was what drew me to Kade when I first met him, when I saw that empty look in his eyes. Because I understood. Fuck, I understood so well, that I wish I didn't. 

Because I feel that way too. I tried to cover it with sex and alcohol. My therapist said that it was self-destr