Chapter 53

I don't want to lose Ryan. My heart is filled with extreme distress and apprehension just by thinking about it. I have done it for Marianne but still...

“Fuck, fuck fuck!” Pulling my hair in distress. The regret ate me up from inside. I felt like crushing under the weight of my deed. The feeling of repulsion for myself is so strong that I want to rip off my skin. I let out my loud convulsions of misery. Losing myself in the anguish, I cried my heart out.

Utterly deprived of energy, I was turned devoid, nothing came to my mind, I was lost in the abyss. My despair got the best of me. My heart seeks only one person who is not here; Ryan. So that he can hold me and tell me he is here for me. That he can give solace to my soul.

“Ryan.. come back.. Please..” I locked myself in the room, crying and feeling empty for the next few days, waiting desperately for Ryan, thinking about no one but him. I was laying on the bed like a lifeless doll but then the door knocked. I opened the