Chapter 3

And at this time, my heart started pounding very hard upon hearing his voice becoming loud and strong.

“I’m sorry—”

My appropriate apology hung in the air again when he rudely snapped my face using the back of his palm. Another bruise was awarded to my face because of the bravery I did.

I deserve it.

“How hard is this thing I’m asking you to do, huh?!” He strangled me and presented my innocent face to his demonic eyes. “Just drink that to get pregnant, Kris! What’s so hard to do there?!”

“I-I don’t want to.” My shaking hands grabbed his hand that was strangling my neck, and using my remaining strength I tried to remove his hand from strangling me.

“You’re just giving me more reason to hurt you!” He pushed me hard and just as my back hit the side table, the flower vase fell on my head. “I’m looking for a way, Kris, to get you pregnant. I’m doing everything so that at least one child from the two of us can be born. All I’m asking for you is just to cooperate! Is that too much to ask?!”

I felt blood dripping from my head where the vase broke. Even though it hurt with a little pain, I didn’t mind it for this time. I think I need to explain my side to Liam.

“If you are not tired of hoping that we will have a child, I hope you will think of me as well. I don’t want to hope for that to happen anymore because I have accepted for a long time that the only thing I can take care of is the child that did not come from my womb.”

And maybe because I talked back to him, he immediately came to me and pulled me upright... and then using the back of his hand, he slapped me... falling back to the floor.

“Could you stop talking like that, Kris?! This doesn’t make any sense! If you’re so weak-minded to give up immediately that we could make a child, definitely not the same as me!” I could see his feet starting to walk towards me, and my whole body starting to shiver.

“Honey…” He sat in front of me and brushed my messy hair from my face. Even though I was shaking, I tried to get away from his sinful hand, but he still can reach me through his hands. “Don’t force me to hurt you anymore. I love you so much—”

“You don’t love me,” I whispered. “A person who knows how to love doesn’t know how to hurt. If what you are doing to me is still called love...” My eyes met his eyes with tears. “Why are you hurting me? You’re choking me.”

“I’m going to beg you, Liam. Stop insisting me to get pregnant. Sarah is enough—”

“No.” What I thought was his gentle face turned into a scary one. “My dad will never accept that child, Kris! He will never accept the child we just picked up from the orphanage as a grandchild! So, whether you like it or not, you have to get pregnant!” He took my hand and forcibly took me to the kitchen.

He poured the contents of the new Chinese herbs he took from the fridge into the glass and forced me to drink it, but I insisted not to open my mouth despite his insistence.

“You won’t drink?” He squeezed my cheek hard and forced my mouth to open. “Drink it—”

“Liam! What are you doing with Kris?!” Mother Minda suddenly came to the kitchen, so what Liam was planning to do with me was interrupted. “Dear! Do you still see what you are doing to your wife?!”

And Liam just stared at me the whole time processing his mind about what he has done to me. He was just stunned as he gradually moved away from me, and as if he’s not aware that at this moment, he’s starting to shed tears.

“Lock me in my study room, please.”

Liam seemed to be out of his mind when Mother Minda led him to his study room. There, he sat on the long, black sofa as if he still wasn’t coming back to his senses. And Mother Minda left the room, locking the door before she got back to me.

“Are you okay?” she asked me worriedly, but I seem to have adapted to my husband becoming stupor. “Wait a minute, I’ll treat your wound.”

“Mother Minda,” I called her so she couldn’t continue to leave. “Haven’t he taken some treatments?”

“My kid doesn’t have a mental illness, Kris. He doesn’t need to take any medicine or undergo any treatments. He’s fine,” she answered with a smile before turning her back on me.

But, I’m not convinced. I’ve been married to him for almost a decade, and he’s always like that. I guess it has become their routine that whenever Liam hurts me because he can’t even control himself hurting me, Mother Minda will come to stop him. And then the next thing happened... she locked him in his study room just to make sure he couldn’t get close to me and hurt me.

And then now... Nay Minda wanted me to believe that there’s nothing wrong with my husband? That he is normal? No! He really needs to be treated. I need to know what his illness is... and this is the least I can do for him as his wife.

Because I’m tired of him hurting me almost every day every time he comes home from work. That whenever I did even a little mistake in his eyes, he would make it a big deal.

“Kris, don’t think about anything else...” When Mother Minda returned with the first aid kit, she immediately sat in front of me to begin the treatment. “Don’t think that your husband is not normal. You can’t blame him if because he wants you to have a child, he suddenly becomes a different person in your eyes.”

“And if you are thinking of leaving and breaking up with him just because you think he has a mental problem, you should always remember that God bound you to him with your love for each other.”

I just laugh at the back of my mind. Earlier, she sounds like she’s encouraging me to leave this house. And then... a sudden change of mind had happened. What kind of life did I really enter?

“The study room was locked again?” Sarah asked with a frown when she entered the house. She’s back from school.

“It’s not really a big matter, baby—”

“Daddy is locked inside again, isn’t he?” she asked innocently, that even if I wanted to explain the events to her, she really wouldn’t understand how serious the matters are. “Daddy’s not a bad guy! Let him out, mommy! He promised to help me with my homework today,” she said with a sneer.

“I’ll do it then.” I showed her my fake smile before I brought my daughter inside her room. In that way, her attention will be diverted to the study room where her daddy is imprisoned.

I hope he’ll never come out there. My life could’ve been peaceful if he’s not around, anyway. My life would have been better if I refused his proposal to me back when his love for me was still visible in his eyes.

Can’t imagine my ‘I do. I want you to be my husband’ turns out to be ‘I don’t want this fucking life anymore!’