POV: Jaewon

I looked for a little piece of the notepad we usually used to leave notes on the refrigerator with reminders to buy things like eggs and milk, and left it next to Ji-a’s bedside table. She was sleeping peacefully, so I didn’t want to wake her to let her know I was going to a place that was exactly fifty meters away.

The night was cold and silent. I greeted the doorman as I finally descended and looked at the stars on my short walk to hyung’s building. There, I greeted the doorman of that building and went up to the fifth floor.

Namsoo always left the door open when he was expecting us, so I just entered his dark apartment and saw some pieces of glass scattered on the floor. It was easy to deduce that they were from the picture frames he loved to collect with photos, but I thought it might be intentional from the divorce, but seeing that only his photos with me and Ji-a were on the floor, it worried me a lot.

“Hyung?” I called, walking carefully not to cut myself. The apartment was dark, but I could hear him crying. “Hyung?”

I entered the room. Namsoo was sitting in the corner, near the wall with the window. His legs were drawn up, his arms hugged him, and his head was low, resting on his knees. His body was trembling, but when he finally looked at me, I saw how my best friend was broken, with his face washed in tears, a red nose, and even a bit of snot running down.

He stumbled when he stood up and ran to where I was. I was surprised when he hugged me tightly and cried even more.

“Hyung, relax, you and SoHee will work it out.” Namsoo quickly denied, lost in himself. I pushed him away a bit, looking for a wet towel that was on the bed to clean his face and mainly rid him of that weird goo running without mercy.

I sat him on the bed, doing the same next to him. His hand sought mine, and I saw how it trembled.

“I-I’m sorry, saeng, I’m sorry…”

“Relax, I’m here with you. Remember when Ji-a and I fought for the first time, and you heard me cry for two hours? You can cry for four if you want, I’m here.”

Namsoo denied again and slid off the bed. His knees touched the floor, but I was even more surprised when I saw him hold mine and beg: “I didn’t want this to happen, I didn’t want.”

“Hey!” I tried to lift him, but stopped when I heard his next sentence:

“I didn’t want to do this to you and her. I swear, I didn’t want…” My hands released Namsoo’s. My eyes focused only on him. I let the hyung cry whatever he wanted to cry, and when his eyes finally connected with mine again, I heard what I perhaps never thought I had enough strength to hear.

“The baby… you’re not the father…”

I felt my body freeze, but laughed in pure disbelief. “What are you talking about? Hyung, of course, I am.”

Namsoo denied, wiping his face with his forearm, finally sitting on the floor. “No, saeng… you’re not.”

I denied, this time angrily. “You can’t try to hurt me like this. Just because you’re upset with your wife doesn’t mean you can talk nonsense about mine.”

“I!” Namsoo said, looking at me. “I am, Jaewon. I’m the father of that baby.”

I felt my world brake, enter chaos and collapse. “What the hell are you talking about?”

I could feel my blood boil. But I still wanted to believe that it was just a very tasteless joke.

Namsoo bowed and touched my feet, begging for forgiveness. I backed away, denying as I thought. “No, of course not. What kind of friend are you?” I turned around, facing him.

I saw him stand up again; he seemed tormented. When he tried to approach me, I moved my body away and approached the window. “Saeng, let me explain. Please!”

“What do you want to explain? Ji-a wouldn’t be capable of doing something like that.”

“Neither of us, but… it happened. On the day she came here, and…”

“So you mean my wife cheated on me and went to bed with you on the day yours left?”

Namsoo averted his eyes, focusing on some point. “SoHee left because she found out.”

“Found out? So… are you saying this isn’t new?”

I bit my lower lip, controlling the anger that surged through my body when he denied.

“Three years… it’s been three years since she and I…” Namsoo fell silent. His sad eyes no longer gave me pity, just more anger. “Since high school.” He looked at me again. “Ji-a and I were dating before you and her… met. I know that’s not an excuse, there are no excuses for this, but somehow the connection we had made this… start happening.”

“Bastard.” I spoke through gritted teeth. “Are you really telling me that you’ve been having an affair with my wife for three years?”

“I’m sorry…”

“Why? Why did you do this to me?! Where’s the damn brotherhood you said you felt with me?”

“Jaewon, I…” he tried to approach again.

“No, don’t come near me.” I warned, turning away again.

“Please, listen to me.” I felt his hand hold me, and I couldn’t control myself.

When I turned to face him again, my fingers felt the impact of the punch I struck against my best friend’s jaw. Namsoo staggered a few steps backward, but it didn’t bring him down. Fueled even more by the damn anger that seemed large and strong enough to be a wall, I lunged again.

I was never one to fight, but every punch I landed on my best friend’s face was accurate enough to make him bleed. When I saw his eyes roll back while blood flowed from his mouth and eyebrow, I clenched my fingers in his shirt and pulled him with hatred.

“Why?!” I shouted. Only at that moment did I realize that I was already crying. My tears were falling like heavy raindrops on a cold day. My body trembled, on the verge of collapsing.

Namsoo stayed quiet, silent, but his eyes were once again locked onto mine. And that made me start punching him again. I can’t say it was right; he didn’t even defend himself. I felt tired at some point, but my anger was like a supply for my exhaustion, making me continue and continue to hit him, blinding me as I was about to knock him unconscious.

“Stop! Stop, this!” It was my wife’s voice.

I stood up, wiping my tears with the back of my hand. Ji-a was crying, wearing nothing but her short nightgown. I felt even more anger. She looked at Namsoo, covering her mouth, and then I looked at him. My hyung grunted in pain, his face covered in blood, and my heart broke to see him like that.

Then I cried even more. I felt betrayed, but it hurt more to understand that I never had a damn brother. I had always been alone in this damn world, and the only person I truly trusted threw me into the abyss.

“Jaewon…” she called me. She approached with fear, but I moved away, not wanting to hurt her. Ji-a nodded, understanding that I needed space, but her eyes went back to Namsoo. “We need to call an ambulance.”

She reached for her phone, dialing quickly. My eyes always got blurry as more tears came, but when I saw her crouch near him after finally calling for help, lifting him and helping with the wounds, that was the end for me.

I stepped back slowly, but I stepped back forever. They both stared at me when I reached the bedroom door, and if there was any trace of a whole man in me, rest assured that it shattered and disappeared at that exact moment. I looked at my hand, taking off the ring I wore.

“Never again…” I uttered, with a choked voice. “Never talk to me again. I don’t want to see either of you in front of me. You,” I looked directly at Ji-a, “don’t come back to the apartment. If this is what you wanted, then this is where you’ll stay. Send one of your sisters or whoever, get your things, but don’t come back to our damn apartment.”

“Jaewon…”

“No. I don’t want to hear.”

“That apartment is mine too. Don’t forget we got married under the regime of partial community property. You paid for it, but I have rights.” I needed to laugh in complete disbelief.

“Fine. If you want what you’re entitled to, so be it. But this damn marriage ends here.”

“We can still talk. We can fix this if you understand,” she tried, but again, I refused.

“Understand? You must think I’m a fool, don’t you?”

“Of course not!”

Namsoo coughed, spitting a bit of blood. I looked at them together and took a deep breath, thinking about how stupid I had been for years. My best friend and my wife? Does that mean they slept together, and then she kissed me when she came home, and he called me happily and in a good mood? Miserable traitors…

I heard the sound of the ambulance siren approaching and understood that I needed to leave now. “From today on, don’t look for me anymore. You’re dead to me.”