Chapter 188

Delilah

The moment that I laid my eyes on him, I could not breathe.

Nikolai.

His name pulsed in my head like a heartbeat I couldn’t steady. I had told myself I would be ready. I had promised myself I would be strong. But no strength in this world could have prepared me for the way my knees gave out, or how the cold of the earth beneath me felt like it was crawling into my bones.

He was gone.

To save Lysandra and me, he chose to give up his life. When he did not need to, when he could have played his game a while longer, he chose to give up his life.

I had to hold myself up. I had to ignore the pain that I felt in my chest as I stood, as I tried to be strong. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t. And since then, I found myself getting lost in my t