Chapter 275. Dirty Desires

Eighteen was one of the darkest years of my life. 

I took one year off high school after the sauna incident, but even then, I found I still couldn’t look my mates in the eye.

Jokes which were usually funny, now cut deep.

The wrong look pissed me off, and then I would in turn feel weak for reacting so strongly to every damn thing. 

I couldn't bear to look at myself in the mirror. 

And each time I walked past boys my age on the way to class, or the gym, or the basketball court, I wondered if they saw it. If they saw what those men saw, that made them do that to me.

Everyone claimed I was good looking, maybe I was not good looking in the way a man should be, so I started to bulk up at the gym. 

I wanted to look tough too, but did not have the courage to scar my face, so I inked out, covering every inch of my skin I could with tattoos.

The administrators of my Catholic boarding school in Rome did not like this, and I was only