Chapter 3

Deiseree’s POV

When they got everything, they all left together. Entering the house, we were exposed to the spaciousness of the space. Because we didn’t have rooms, the living room was also where we slept at night. Only the clothes, blankets, pillows, and mats were left of all our things. They had taken our small TV, which was our only entertainment in the house, and the only fan that cooled the hot nights was gone. They didn’t even miss the single sofa that Dad bought.

We were all sitting on the floor and couldn’t paint our faces. Dad was on the side while Luke was carrying Chris, who was busy playing with his older brother’s hair. Even if Dad didn’t say it, I could clearly see the depression on his face.

Deiseree, think! Do something!

I thought of a way to ease everyone’s feelings. For a moment, I fixed my gaze on the wall and saw a doodle there. That was a doodle of a soccer ball that Luke made when he was in first grade.

I knew what to do!

I stood up from my seat. I picked up a pillowcase and rolled it into a ball. I threw it to Luke, who immediately caught it.

“Nice catch!” I winked.

“Dad, catch it!” Smiling, Luke threw it at Dad.

“Kids…” The sadness was still reflected in his voice.

“Don’t be sad, Dad. Everything will be alright,” Luke eased our father’s gloom.

“Yes, Dad. Our house being spacious could be great; we can play soccer here like we used to when we were kids,” I said jokingly. Dad and Luke laughed.

We laughed and ran around the house, playing catch and imaginary soccer while Chris, who had been playing earlier, fell asleep. We were all catching our breath when we finished.

“The spacious one is better; there’s more space for us to sleep. It’s not bad, Dad,” my brother said as he sat beside our father.

Dad smiled and kissed our foreheads. “Thank you so much, my children. I could really lose everything—but not you.” Then he hugged us.

“Gosh, you won’t lose us. And we too—we’ll lose everything, but not you. Everything means nothing if we ain’t got you, Dad,” I said while smiling.

“I love you so much, kids. Of all the wrong things that happened in my life, you were the only ones who were right.” Even though I couldn’t see it, I knew he was in tears again. Our father was such a crybaby.

“We love you too, Dad,” Luke and I said together.

Even though we only ate rice and salt that night, we were smiling because we were together, facing each other at the dinner table. Even though almost all of our belongings had been cleared away, we knew we could get back up as long as we were by each other’s side—and we wouldn’t let go of each other’s hands.

It was late at night when I woke up feeling thirsty. I got up and saw my father sitting outside the door, staring at the distant view. He looked too deep in thought. I knew he was the one who was struggling the most right now—for us and for my siblings. Even if he didn’t say it, I could see that he was very tired. Even though he smiled at us, whenever he was alone, the tiredness was evident on his face.

“Dad, why are you still awake?” I asked as I approached him.

He turned to me and motioned for me to come closer. I sat next to him and also looked up at the billions of stars in the sky.

“I can’t seem to fall asleep, Deiseree. I’m thinking… if I were competent enough, would you have suffered this much?” There was sadness in his voice.

“Dad…”

“Eree, my daughter, I know that I’m lacking a lot. I am incompetent. Please forgive your father, as I can’t give you something that you and your siblings should be experiencing.” He went on a long litany while stroking my hair, which he used to do a lot when I was a kid.

“Oh, Dad! Don’t talk like that. You’re not incompetent at all.”

“It’s true.”

“No, Dad. You don’t lack anything for me and my brothers. In fact, you’ve given us as much as you can. You’re the best father one could ever have. You’re always trying your best. Despite the responsibilities, you never failed as a father to us.” I leaned my head on his shoulder, smiling.

“Eree, I know you have a lot of goals in life, and I want you to achieve them all,” he said as he hugged me tightly, yet comfortably—the kind of hug that made me feel like he cherished me and would never leave my side, no matter what. “I want to see you rise in life alongside your brothers; I don’t want you to go through what we’re going through now.” Even if I didn’t look at my father, I could tell he was crying again. It was as though something was squeezing my heart.

I swallowed to control my emotions. “Promise, Dad. I will never abandon my brothers. I will work hard and give you the life you deserve. I will succeed in life and will make sure that all your sacrifices and hard work for us pay off.”

“I believe in you, my daughter. I know you will succeed.” My father then kissed me on the head.

My father and I talked for a long time that night. He held my shoulder while I rested on him. I didn’t want that scene to come to an end. We gazed at the stars in the sky. We talked about his dreams, which he wanted my brothers and me to achieve for him. That’s when I discovered he wanted to be an architect and a chef, which explained why my father was a fantastic cook. I was delighted because that was the first time we had spoken in that manner.

My father was no longer in bed when I awoke the next morning; he must have gone to the store to purchase some coffee. It was still dark outside because it was just a quarter to five in the morning, so I just made breakfast, which consisted of rice, salt, and cooking oil—we called it sinangag or Filipino fried rice. After I finished everything, I prepared for school. I woke my brothers and assisted them in getting ready for school too.

“Deiseree! Deiseree!” Auntie Eden, one of our neighbors, rushed into the house.

I had just finished buttoning Chris’s uniform, then I turned to face her. “What is it, Auntie Eden? Do you need anything?” I asked.

“W-Well… your father…” I immediately got nervous after she mentioned my father.

“Auntie Eden, what is it? What’s wrong? What about my father?” I asked again.

“It’s…” She stared at me for a moment, apparently not knowing how to begin or what to say.

“What is it, Auntie Eden!? Please…” I was beginning to get really anxious and scared.

“Your father was in an accident, Eree. He was hit by a car and I-I think your father is gone. I think he’s… dead.”

My ears seemed to go deaf after what she said, my knees went weak, and I couldn’t hear anything around me.

“Sister! We have to go see Dad. Sister, please stand up already.” Luke was crying and begging, but I couldn’t seem to move. My whole body was trembling.

Dad…