Chapter 20

Lucian

I’m too angry with her to beg her to stay, because in reality, I really do want her gone.

I can’t stand to see her face after she literally used me as bait and a safe space to bunker till she finally got what she wanted.

But when I mean gone, for the most part, I just want her in her room, not talking to me.

I wanted her to really reflect on her choices up to this point and point out how best she can work on herself to alleviate the situation of betrayal.

Most of all, I guess I just wanted us the be cordial again. No more relationship “bullshitting.” It’s too much emotional baggage and it clouds the mind, preventing any form of systematic reasoning.

All through the night, I considered letting her in.

Of course, I knew she was at my door for a while. I’m too alert to miss sounds like that.

I wanted to feel like this could all be a dream and even if it wasn’t, we could both just pretend like it never happened. The only thin