Chapter 5

Henry remained silent for a second, just watching my shrug and neutral expression. He crossed one of his arms in front of his body and supported the other on this one. The free hand towards his face, hitting lightly with his index finger against his closed lips, said: “I think I already know what your problem is. “He looked up and pretended to be thinking. Some part of me thought he was even more beautiful when he concentrated. “Bipolarity!

I almost laughed.

“I've had it. “I played.

Henry undid his smile and relaxed his shoulders as a sign of discouragement. I gave a small smile and felt a subtle change of pieces around my skull when I sat on the dark earth.

Through his gaze, Henry checked every visible part of me, looking for something that would identify my problem. He had not seen the big clock inside my head, however, I was sure that soon he would hear the ticking that resonated through my ears. The gears spun and I felt a slight buzz. The next moment, my body seemed to swell inside the loose clothes of the clinic and a sarcastic smile lit up my lips “against my will.

“Why don't you tell me what your problem is? “I asked, straightening my body and rehearsing another sarcastic smile.

Henry frowned and tilted his head slightly to the side. I was sure he noticed something strange and decided to ignore it, because he soon covered his curiosity with an indifferent expression and said: “I'm a Satirist.

I gave another small smile, totally oblivious to what that word meant. I could understand her if she was in my normal state, but that wasn't the case. “It's not contagious, is it?

He gave a dull smile and stared at me. “No, it's not “swallowing hard, he added: “Just like those who don't know what this is and much less interested in knowing, you can also call me Sexual Compulsive, if you want.

I couldn't control my shock before Henry had time to evaluate my grimace. The mere mention of any sexual activity was enough to let that black thing inside me crawl and involve me like a shroud. Meeting someone who suffered from a problem that followed a route contrary to mine was as ironic as it was scary.

Even scarier was that I felt weird. It was as if accepting Henry's presence wasn't something Abigail would do. It wasn't me there at that moment. It wasn't the girl who didn't know why she had been abandoned by her father in a place for crazy people. Or the one who woke up crying after a disconnected nightmare. That girl was another Abigail. One who could smile at malicious jokes and make friends with someone with hypersexuality. If they called me by my name, I would never answer.

Henry looked away and rolled up the sleeves of his blouse, taking a handful of earth and letting it drip between the fingers of his left hand. The white band reached up to half of his right fist.

“You're from ward three. “I said with a wise smile.

“Yes... “He whispered. The eyes focused on the dark earth deformed by holes.

Taken by a feeling very similar to compassion, I raised my right hand and approached his arm, capturing yours in a quick greeting.

“Nice to meet you, ward four.

Henry turned his head towards me and widened his eyes, the palm of his icy hand still over mine. His frightened expression was replaced by a malicious smile and a narrowing of eyes, while he let go of my hand, leaving a brown line of earth stained in his white belt. “You are as crazy as I thought.

“That's what they usually say “I murmured, shrugging my shoulders.

He laughed. Your laughter echoed in my head and I smiled too. My eyes “which were not really mine “went down to the fold he had made on his blouse. His arms were uncovered from the elbow down and some dark shapes attracted my attention. I admired the black drawings on her white skin.

“Wow! “I exclaimed, fascinated.

Henry followed my gaze and stared at his own arm. “Have you never seen anyone tattooed? “I denied it with my head.

Unable to control my own impulses, I pulled his arm and went with my fingers through the outline of an anchor that seemed to cover a small phrase that circled his left wrist. I knew I was invading his space, but he had done the same to me and, to me, it seemed more than fair.

I felt his fist shudder against my curious hand, but not receiving any warning to stop me, I turned his wrist and studied the figures of a clover, a padlock accompanied by a key and an astrological symbol. I took the liberty of moving away the fold of his blouse even more and my eyes remained all the time on the little A in the curve of his left elbow. I touched him lightly, slipping the tip of my nails by the words: "Things i can't".

“What do they mean? “I asked in a mess. When Henry did not answer, I looked up and was frightened by the expression of pain on his countenance. I pushed my hand away as fast as I could. “Are you okay? “I stuttered nervously.

Henry didn't answer right away. Closing his arms around his body, he locked his jaw and shook his head several times. His muscles shuddered so hard that I heard his teeth gnashing. I dragged myself through the wet earth to keep as much distance as I could. The nurse who was watching me was on his back, looking at the view through the iron gates, and didn't even realize what was happening.

“It's the medicines “Henry said, forcing his voice so that it could come out through his closed lips. “They control my Serotonin, but they literally fuck with my nervous system.

I felt a slight discomfort in the direction of my forehead, at the same time that my mind lit up almost as if a lamp was placed against my head. I could remember the words of a certain book about addictions that I had read, not so long ago. Even the bandaged fist started to make sense when I considered the list of incidents for someone with Satiriasis.

Suddenly, I noticed his muscles relaxing and Henry took a deep breath before turning his head with an expression so disappointed that it almost hurt me.

“I scared you like hell, didn't I?

A wide smile slipped on my lips in a natural way. “My hallucinations scare me more.

Henry undid the worried expression and returned my smile, his dimples appearing again. Getting up quickly, as if remembering an urgent matter, he stretched his bandaged hand and said: “If you finished digging holes and pretending to be a vegetable, do you want to sit with me and the crazy ice cream?

I was frightened by his behavior change and even more nervous about touching his hand and causing another strange reaction in his body. But convinced by a feeling of anxiety, I gave another smile and lightly put my dirty hand of earth on her white bandage, staining it completely when joining our fingers. Henry guided me to the iron table and sat next to Noelle. She stopped for a moment from eating her ice cream and greeted him with a shy smile.

“Hêr... Do you want... Ice cream?

He nodded, watching her fill the second cup on the table and asking something about daisies. It was no secret to anyone that Noelle loved daisies. Her own perfume was an indication of her obsession with flowers. She and Henry seemed to have known each other longer than I thought.

The difference between the two people in front of me was obvious. Noelle helped me distract my thoughts by confronting her own loneliness. Henry made me see through a single gesture that some moments could be clean and beautiful like a spring morning. His green eyes contrasting with the white skin and the shadow of the dimples on his cheeks, became some kind of mark for me. Physically I could feel the link being created. The point was that, considering autumn itself, when the cold arises and the beautiful flowers feel obliged to adapt to the absence of the sun, I knew indistinctly that at some point I would be responsible for his departure.

When they both laughed at something I didn't hear, another strange feeling ran through my body. It was as if he had had an Déjà vu, watching two people talking between smiles and laughter, while a little blonde girl lurking on the other side of the garden. The little girl felt happy, that was a memory she would always want to keep in her memory.

Henry's throat clearing caught my attention, pushing away the vision I had as if it were nothing but a smoke.

“Why aren't you having ice cream?

I looked at the cloudy sky and back at it. “I don't want to get the flu.

His face squirmed in a grimace of pure indignation and he walked away from the table as if I had said the worst offense in the world. “What kind of madman refuses to do exactly what a madman would do?

Noelle gave her famous cat laugh and slowly turned towards him.

“The... A-Bee... it's very... silly.”

“A-Bee? “Henry asked looking at me. “Like, bee?”

I shrugged. “She can't speak Abby.

With the spoonful of ice cream suspended centimeters from his face, Henry tested my nickname. “Bee... “He grabbed the ice cream and murmured after swallowing: “It's much better than Bipolar from ward four.

Sighing to hide my smile, I tilted my body to lean against the table. The movement caused my hair to run down the side of my ribs and the heavy braided strand hit me. I took the wick and brought the magenta orchid towards my face, feeling a slight aroma of cinnamon mixed with roses, an aroma that from then on would always remind me of Henry.