Chapter 2

That evening, when my father returned home, he was furious and demanded to know where I had been all day.

"Dad, I was in my room studying the whole time. I didn't even step outside," I replied.

In his booming voice, he shouted, "Rose, get over here!"

"What's going on now, Anthony?" my mother asked.

"Did Antonia go anywhere today?"

"No, Anthony. She was cooped up in her room all day, buried in her books. I had to practically drag her downstairs for lunch."

"Why didn't you pick up your phone, Antonia?"

I gave him a look like he was losing it and retorted, "Dad, I was home the whole time with my phone off."

"Ah, got it. Forget I asked," he relented.

"Forget what, Dad? I don't have any friends here, no car. If I even try to leave, one of your guys stops me. What did you think I was going to do, and where did you think I could go?"

"I'm not concerned about what you're up to. I'm worried about your safety."

"You mean have some fun, like Vincent does in his room? Go catch a movie so I can experience the 21st century. Do you realize I'm eighteen and I've never been to a movie theater? Last night, I had to settle for watching a movie on my 19-inch monitor. Bet 'Titanic' would've been incredible on the big screen."

"Vincent's a man, that's different. If you want movie nights, I'll get you a giant-screen TV."

"What about the girls he brings home? They're just like me, and he's taking advantage of them."

"They're tramps. Anyone who'd do that before marriage deserves what they get."

"What happens when I go off to college in the fall, Dad? Are you gonna have armed guards trailing me 24/7?"

"You're heading to Italy for college, under the family's protection in Novaro. University of Milan's a top-notch school, you can study whatever you want there."

"I had a feeling you'd pull something like this. Just remember, the Swiss border's just a hop away from Milan. From there, I could vanish anywhere in the world."

"Antonia, I'm trying to look out for you. Don't go doing anything foolish. There are plenty of folks who don't care for me, and they could come after you to get back at me."

"Vincent acts like a bull in a china shop. You want me to stay a virgin until you can marry me off to some family connection and strike a deal. But that's not happening, Dad. I won't be some submissive wife like Mom. I won't tolerate a husband who sneaks around, doesn't tell me where he's going or when he'll be back. I won't stand for those knowing looks from women, knowing my husband's fooling around behind my back. It's not gonna fly, whether I'm here or in Italy. I'll hook up with the first guy I find and ruin your precious plan to keep me pure."

"Antonia, there are doctors nowadays who can repair that little piece of flesh. Losing your virginity hurts the first time, getting it fixed hurts, and losing it again hurts just as much. Be careful what you wish for, because you might just get it."

"Thanks for the heads up, Dad. I can have sex just like Vincent, before you try to marry me off to some random guy of your choosing."

My father had never laid a hand on me before, probably because I was away at school most of the time. What shocked both him and me as I lay on the floor was that I didn't shed a tear. I simply looked up at him and asked, "Feel better now, Dad?"

After I spoke up, my mother stepped in between us and ordered my father to retreat to the kitchen and pour himself a drink. It was the most assertive I'd ever heard her speak to him. She then helped me to my feet, taking note of the large handprint forming on my face, and instructed me to go to my room, promising to join me shortly with some ice.

True to her word, my mother entered my room carrying an ice pack and a glass of wine. I'd never had alcohol before, so I asked, "Is the wine for me or for you?"

"Don't be cheeky, Toni," my mom replied. "I thought I was going to have to take you to the dentist to get half your teeth put back in your mouth."

"No, Mom, my teeth are fine. But my face feels like it's on fire," I explained.

"Have some wine, Toni; it'll help with the pain you'll be feeling soon. Then lie down, and I'll apply this ice pack to your face so you don't end up black and blue."

"I'm okay, Mom, but the ice will definitely feel good," I reassured her.

"I don't get how you didn't cry out after he hit you. I would've, and I bet Vincent would've too. That wasn't just a tap, it was a serious blow. He was trying to prove a point, and now he probably thinks he failed. He'll stew over this for days," Mom remarked, concern evident in her voice.

"You can thank the Sisters of the Good Shepherd for that, Mom. They drilled into me every day to keep my thoughts and feelings hidden. They're taken advantage of by priests, bishops, cardinals, even the Pope. They endure it in silence until they're back in the safety of their convent. That's when they let loose with their frustrations to the Mother Superior and their fellow sisters. I've witnessed it all and been a part of it for twelve years. Give a priest ten bucks, it'll vanish in days. Give a nun ten bucks on Monday, she'll have twenty by Friday. They're not only the best educators but also the most compassionate women you'll ever meet. It doesn't matter what faith you are; if you're in need, they won't turn you away, ever."

"Is my daughter going to join a convent?"

"I'm absolutely not becoming a nun. They bust their tails for peanuts, and their bosses are either corrupt or turning a blind eye to corruption. They're either pedophiles themselves, protecting pedophiles, or denying there's a problem within the Catholic Church. Honestly, I'm not even sure I want to stick with Catholicism."

"Don't let your dad catch wind of that talk, or he'll make you regret it," Mom warned, her tone serious.

"Mom, that's exactly what I'm getting at. Guys like him, you know what I mean, slip a little something to the church before they kick the bucket just so they can get a spot in a Catholic cemetery. It's bribery plain and simple. God doesn't take bribes, but the Catholic Church sure does. If you've lived right, you get heaven; if you've lived wrong, it's straight to hell. No amount of cash you slide the church is gonna change that. I'm not sure I wanna stick with a religion that turns a blind eye to the stuff Dad and his buddies pull. Long as the bishops and cardinals can count on them to stuff the collection plate, or cough up for a new church roof, or buy some fancy gear for their hospitals, they think they're off the hook. But it don't work that way. God doesn't play favorites like that."

"Antonia, the sooner I can get you out of here, the safer you'll be. If your dad catches wind of what you just said, you'll be another mark on his conscience. Nothing's gonna save him from the hell he's building for himself with what he's done. I won't let him drag you down with him. It would destroy me."

I wrapped my arms around my mom and whispered, "Mom, I swear I'll keep quiet while he's around."

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