Book 10: Deserve It or Not

Aviva

Ryan looks conflicted, and I immediately change my mind. At first, I’d been more than willing to lie down on this rickety bed and let him have me just to know what it would feel like to lie with my mate. The legends painted this as something so incredibly life-altering. Finding your mate was supposed to be like having your heart torn out and remade, melded with theirs. In a way, I can feel the “heart torn out” part clearly. I get it because I feel that sensation right now in droves. 

“Nevermind,” I manage to say and tear myself away from him. It takes every fiber of my being to do so, but I step into the cool night air and walk at a steady pace toward the outer ring of the village. 

I should go home… not home. My old house. I should go there; I even plan to go there, but my feet carry me out of the village all together, and within minutes, I’m back in the woods, passing the old ruins, walking up along the creek into the hilly, moonl