Chapter 2

“You can’t believe what happened, Lindsey,” I said as I walked through the door.

After what happened in the office, I quickly packed my belongings and brought them with me.

No one cared at all. My office mates continued with their lives. What do I expect them to do?

It’s a corporate world, so that they wouldn’t care about me. It’s not like I’m friends with them, but I’m always alone at my desk. I don’t even know all their names.

Life goes on with or without Tamantha Stolly.

Her eyebrows raised. “What?”

“They cut off an employee because of a budget problem, and I was one of the choices.”

“And? You are fired?”

“Shut up, let me finish.”

I still can’t believe they fired me!

“Alright. So you are fired?”

“Yes, but the reason is outrageous!”

“Why?”

“If you let me finish without asking, you will know Linsey.”

“Okay?”

She nodded while biting a carrot.

“So I was one of the choices to be fired. And you see, I’m like this. I’m fat, and the other choice is a sexy girl! She’s thin! Unlike me!”

“So they chose her instead of you?”

“Yes,” I said.

“Well, you can’t blame them.”

“Why? They actually fire me because they hate seeing a fat girl in the office!”

“No, Tamantha, you are not sure about that. You should also think about your work performance and attendance.”

I listened to her.

“For the last month, you have always been late because of your breakup and your struggle to lose weight, so instead of sleeping and focusing on your goal, you end up overthinking about it at night and overeating in the morning when you starve yourself at night. Besides, you are not sure you are doing an excellent job at work.”

Yes, I may be late for these past few weeks, but I’m a good editor! I do my job neatly, almost perfectly! How can they fire me like that? Without even notice? I know that they don’t care about my personal life or what I’m going through because it’s not connected to my job, but all I need is a heads-up or even an explanation!

Not this fast! What makes it even worse is when they choose Rebecca, the sexy girl.

Well, there’s no other chubby girl in the office to compete with my fat, so they will probably choose her. I already know about the reality of life, but I just can’t get a grip on it.

Maybe I’m not ready, considering that many things are happening in my life now.

I don’t have a boyfriend; I’m unhealthy, and I’m unemployed.

What a life, Tamantha!

“Well, you may have a point, but I’m fucked up, Lindsey.”

“We all do Tams; you just need to swallow it all. Or suckling on something!” She grinned.

My brows knitted. “What?”

“I don’t understand how calm you are, Lindsey. You can even joke around! Don’t you understand? I’m fired! I don’t have a job! How can I pay for our apartment? How can I help you here if I’m not going to pay? If I lose my job because I’m too fat! That girl is just normally looking. I’m above average, but still, she’s the chosen one!”

I try to hold back my tears. I’m not usually this emotional, but I don’t know why all this shit is coming down on me all at once. I know that problems are part of life, but shit, I don’t want this.

“Oh, Tams, why are you acting so dramatic? It’s alright. We can sort it out. You’re my freaking best friend, so don’t sweat it. It doesn’t matter; I can handle it, and maybe it’s good for you to stop working in the meantime.” She smiled.

What does she mean?

“You know, focus on yourself and take care of yourself, and once you’re ready and fine, you can go back to work.”

I took a deep breath. Why did Lindsey suddenly blurt out truth and wisdom? She’s not usually like this. She’s way worse than me but look at her getting her shit together.

“Well, you do have a point, Lindsey.”

She stood up. “Of course I do! I’m Lindsey Cara! I always prove a point! And you are?”

“Tamantha,” I said.

“Louder!” she screamed.

“Tamantha!”

“Tamantha, what?” she asked fiercely.

“Tamantha Stolly.”

“Who?!”

“Tamantha Stolly!” Tamantha fucking Stolly!

She hugged me. “See, that wasn’t so bad! Today is the day that you are going to fix your life!”

“I will. Thanks, Lindsey! But are you drunk?”

“No.”

“I don’t know why I feel like you are drunk and why you are drunk in the morning. Have you also broken up with Andrew?”

“What, no?” she laughed.

“I just want to feel chilled. It’s been so long since I chilled like this.”

“Well, if you really like to chill, we can go to the bar.”

“That’s a freaking good idea, Tamantha! I’m freaking in! Go to the shower, dress up, and I’ll call Andrew to have a party! And you will forget all of your problems! Drink it all away!”

As Lindsey and I agreed, we went to the bar late at night. It’s already full of drunk people because it’s already late. I also want to get hammered by the drinks. In the meantime, I want to forget all my problems and let the liquor take them away.

The lights are dancing and blinking to the beat. Everyone was jumping and throwing their heads back as I watched some of them grind with each other. Some are dancing on the table. Others are twerking everywhere while filming it.

I wonder if I could even do a twerk. I’m not sure. I never tried.

I stood up from my chair and looked around. No one is watching me, so I can probably try, but when I try to do it, someone stares at me, and now I’m anxious to do it, so I go back to my chair and sip on my drink.

After two hours of drinking, I’m still sober. I’m not sure why; I guess even the alcohol isn’t interested in my problem.

That’s how messed up my life is at this moment.

I looked around the bar and couldn’t find Lindsey and Andrew. No one is even asking me for a dance; the only people interested in me are some old creeps from the dark corner of the bar. I don’t even know if they are there!

I was lurking in the dark, staring at some people. But who am I to judge? Maybe that’s their thing. They want to stare at people in the bar; I don’t care. As long as they’re not doing anything illegal or something that affects me, I’m good with it.

Minutes passed, and I was torn about whether to dance alone or leave the bar, stay home, and sleep.

I think about my mistakes and dwell on them for hours. I have no direction in life; I’m such a fucking waste.

I buried my face in my palm and sighed.

I drink the last vodka on my table and head out of the bar.

I’m still walking fine; the alcohol doesn’t affect me. Unlike inside the bar, the outside is peaceful because no one is on the road.

I rest my back on the lamp post near the bar. I waited for a cab to drive me home to our apartment, but there was no cab, so I waited until I realized my purse was on my chair inside the bar.

“Shit!” I blurted it out.

I went back again to get it. Luckily, it’s still there. Well, who will fucking get a pink sequence purse? No one. Compared to fancy bags nowadays, it’s an old hat for them.

I went out again for the second time and waited for a cab, but no taxi was passing by. I want to book an Uber, but I don’t even have enough money.

My forehead creased when I saw a rugged man staring at me across the street.

I blinked to confirm if he was real, and he was! Now he’s crossing the street.

Shit! I’m fucked!

Why is he staring at me like that?

He has a smirk on his face.

What does he want?

The guys seemed suspicious. He’s about 5’8” tall, and he has a weird-looking beard.

I took a step back when he walked forward.

I’m starting to fear for myself. I’m not even sexy or beautiful! Why would he take an interest in me?

I mean, I’m pretty or cute but not stunning enough to get him in trouble. If I were him, I wouldn’t be in this situation. I’ll go and mind my own business!

I swallowed hard when he stopped in front of me.

I stiffened where I was. I don’t even know what’s going on. Is he going to take advantage of me? Because, luckily, I’m big, he would lose if he tried to. I would knock the shit out of him with my flabby arms!

“Don’t worry, girl, I’m not going to kidnap you; you’re too fat.”

My eyes widened at what he said.

I was too stunned even to speak. I’m not even sure how I am supposed to feel about what he said. Well, of course, I’m relieved that he doesn’t have any plans to do anything terrible to me, but why does he need to say it that way?

Why shame me?

I sighed.

I watched the guy walk away. My forehead creased when someone giggled behind me.

I raised my eyebrow and turned around.

A guy near the bar door is standing, holding his stomach while laughing. His laugh echoed in the dark street.

I couldn’t get a good glimpse of him, but I’m confident he is tall.

What the hell is he laughing at?

“Excuse me, but did something amuse you?” I asked.

He continued laughing like he didn’t hear me. Is my voice not loud enough? Or maybe he can’t listen to me because he is still laughing?

“Hey!”

Our eyes met when he raised his head.

“Are you laughing at me?”

“What?” he asked.

I rolled my eyes. This guy is frustrating. Is he so drunk that he can’t hear anything?

“I asked if you were laughing at me,” I said.

“No.” He shook his head.

“Really? I heard you laugh behind me; what do you think is funny?” I asked. This time I’m even more furious. I don’t know if this guy is messing with me or if he’s drunk and laughing at everything.

But it’s not a coincidence that he laughed after what the rugged man said.

“OK,” he said, placing his hand in his pants pocket. He walked forward, giving me a good glimpse of his face. His chiseled shadow is much more visible because of the shadow from the light.

Even though I’m fascinated with his chiseled jaw, I didn’t let it affect how I felt because it is not a laughing matter.

“What?”

“You are funny.”

“Why do you find it funny?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugged.

“You don’t know? You laughed at me, sir! Of course, you understand why it’s amusing.”

“Fine, it’s funny how you thought he would do something to you, but it turns out you’re not even his type, which is a big twist!” he laughed.

My eyes squinted.

See? I’m freaking right about it!

“He’s not even turned on or anything. He’s far from getting a boner.”

“Really?”

He nodded.

“Alright.”

I pursed my lips.

“I bet I could turn you on.”

His brow furrowed. He seemed perplexed and unsure if I had said that.

“Come on, let’s bet!” I said.

“Bet? That you could turn me on?”

I nodded.

“What would I get in this bet?”

“A boner.”

He laughed. “Only if you could turn me on, Miss. I don’t believe you can.”

“Why because I’m chubby?”

“No, let’s not go there, alright? It’s not because of that, but I don’t get easily turned on.”

My eyebrows were raised. I couldn’t figure out if that’s just an excuse or accurate, but I heard that some guys are hard to turn on, even if you get naked and do some acrobatics in bed.

Or those guys have kinks; that’s why they don’t easily get turned on.

“So you’d be lucky because I’m about to turn you on.”