Chapter 54

It shouldn't have happened between them again, but it did. She never slept with the same person, but now she did, and that is all because, in her mind, Calix is and will always be her husband. And his words to her as they both reached their climax have been imbedded in her memory: "This is not just fuck. This is making love."

Love is such a big word that entails a strong emotion. She wanted to argue over that, but she didn't have the strength to do so because, in her heart, what they did was really not just a fuck. It was genuinely something more, but she doesn't want to put love in the equation. Love will destroy her. Love will make her fail. And clearly, love will entrap her in the life that she so wanted to get rid of.

Loving Calix would force her to accept the damned existence that they both are in, and she doesn't want that. She does not want to forever carry the guilt that her family is destroying lives just to make theirs better. She is still upholding her princip