Chapter 121

I heard it. I smelled it, I sensed it. Elena’s heart jumped and suddenly her entire being released that sweet and attractive essence for me, which, when mixed with the perfume, became so familiar and longed for. It was like reliving a nightmare; the latent animal in me just wanted to howl and wallow in that smell, my gums burned and bothered. Too much time had passed. My mouth filled with saliva reflexively. My sister-in-law took a step closer, and the next second her hands were on my face; she was looking into my eyes as if she were trying to decipher a most intricate riddle.

“Why do you keep doing this, if it hurts you so much?” she whispered, slowly.

“Because I am faithful to my principles and you are part of my family.”

Instant and empty response. I returned to her because I wanted to continue feeling Anya, because it was the unhealthy form of self-flagellation that I had become so fond of. I could make peace with my father and mother, with my brother, with the