Chapter 37

Oh my goodness, what just occurred? I find myself expressing my dissatisfaction in an extremely loud manner while busily attacking innocent pillows, causing the bed to become messy. The intensity of my emotions is evident as a bright grin spreads across my face and my eyes glisten like fireworks on the 4th of July.

It is confusing why I am reacting so intensely to this particular situation, especially considering it is not even the first time we have kissed. Yet, for some reason, it feels different this time. I whisper to myself in a barely audible voice, attempting to calm down and rationalize my exaggerated emotions, “Maybe because this time holds different qualities that set it apart from previous ones. How does he manage to do it so well?"

Wait a minute, what am I even thinking?

I forcefully tap my own head in an effort to stop distressing myself with such nonsensical thoughts. I have been foolishly engaging in an internal conflict since Ian left, leaving