Chapter 63

The few days since I arrived back was extremely tiring and hectic. I was learning to become a great mum and I was getting back into the flow of being Queen. It was hard and long but I knew everything was worth it. I was still having to take it slightly easy. The birth really took it out of me. I was trying. I knew most people had accepted me back but I wanted to prove myself worthy. I felt like I needed to do this.

The second day back was the worst. It was the mass memorial. Everyone was going to be there, Matias and I leading it all. I remembered it all. I woke up in the morning to Jack crying from his cot. I slipped from Matias's grip and threw a dressing gown on before quickly tying it. I lifted Jack gently from his cot.

I got him comfortable in my arms and I rocked side to side stopping him crying. I was wide awake now and I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. I walked towards the balcony and slipped outside. I stood not totally at the edge but close enough. I looked d