Unknown: Our Love After Generations. Book 4
- Genre: LGBTQ+
- Age: 18+
- Status: Completed
- Language: English
- Author: Little Maze
I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Waking up to be slapped by news made me tremble with fear, panic, and anger.
Only a few knew about the routine that SiJoon and I lived, but it was certain that no one knew about our struggles.
To everyone else, what SiJoon and I were living was beautiful. Pure and lovely. Filled with happiness and the arrival of two babies, love.
But that wasn't the truth at all.
In the beginning, we would get frustrated a lot and constantly argue.
It was exhausting to try and try to conceive, but SiJoon always tried to cheer me up and keep me going.
However, when we returned from one of our trips together, we found out about JaeMin, and then we met the others.
It seemed like everyone could have their babies and be blissfully happy, but not SiJoon and me.
That made us grow cold. It felt like in our relationship, only that would be able to bring back joy, but we lived wrapped in a cloak of lies, not letting even our closest friends know about our struggles.
Neither JaeMin nor JunKoo knew about our sorrows.
SiJoon and I would fight every other hour and talk about breaking up and distancing ourselves whenever it came to an end.
But this wasn't new. We always did that in the past. We fought and separated, only to hurt each other more and more, seeking in others what was missing in ourselves.
And this time was no different. SiJoon and I had just fought, and the reason was the most trivial one.
We had fought out of jealousy. Pure jealousy.
"I don't want him around you," he said, burning with rage, holding the material I had just prepared.
"I don't care," I said, approaching him. "He's just an ex, the job has nothing to do with us."
"But the problem is that there's 'us' between you and him, SooJin."
"Don't you trust me?"
"I trusted you before, and what did you do? Slept with someone else!"
"We were separated, SiJoon, and don't act like you didn't get involved with someone else too, and in your case, while we were still together."
"Are you really going back to that?"
"You're the one accusing me of ridiculous things."
"I don't want you with him, SooJin. That's it."
"I don't care about what you want, I care about my job!"
"You've been warned," he said.
And before I could retort, he stormed out and left me alone.
I didn't want to, but I already felt terrible again. The feeling from the past, where I always felt empty and impure, was coming back.
SiJoon only returned home that day when I and the babies were already sleeping.
I woke up to the sound of his footsteps, and without him noticing, I saw him undress and head to our bathroom.
I curled up there on the bed, feeling like nothing more could be done. I hated the fact that my trust in him was also hanging by a thread. I hated the fact that our relationship was being held together by duct tape and could break at any moment.
When SiJoon came out of the shower, he laid down and didn't even touch me. The next day, he left for work without exchanging a single word with me.
I didn't understand where all his jealousy was coming from. I didn't give him any reason for such things, and I couldn't control what was assigned to me at work.
I had taken on a new assignment to write an article, and the cover of the magazine where my comeback edition would be featured was Kim Jun-myeon, my first boyfriend.
To make matters worse, his face was plastered on headlines announcing his arrival in Seoul.
Kim and I had no contact, but SiJoon seemed to be losing trust in me to the point of wanting to forbid me from talking to him.
But I couldn't allow that. So, even though he was still upset, I left Nabi and Noram with the nanny and went to the magazine to interview him, to put an end to everything.
But Jun-myeon looked even more beautiful than I remembered, and he smiled graciously and calmly as soon as he saw me.
He smiled in a way SiJoon hadn't smiled at me that morning.
I conducted the entire interview with him, and he remained professional throughout. Jun-myeon had come to Korea in search of new models for his brand, alternating between Seoul and Busan in his search for the new face.
I used the familiarity we had, even after all this time, and asked all possible questions about his brand.
In the end, we said our goodbyes, and Jun-myeon dared to give me a friendly hug.
That was all. But for Seo SiJoon, it seemed like so much more.
And I didn't forget that we worked at the same publishing company. I went to where SiJoon was, hoping to have lunch with him and maybe resolve everything, but unfortunately, all I found when I entered that room was my fiancé's body pressed against his secretary's, with his eyes wide open.
"What's going on here?"
She backed away upon hearing my voice, and SiJoon quickly came towards me. I felt dizzy and nauseous, so I just turned my back and left as fast as I could.
"Please, listen to me," he pleaded, grabbing my arm.
I pulled away from his touch and stared at him.
"Are you going to do this to me again? Are you going to betray me with anyone, SiJoon?"
"I wasn't betraying you, SooJin."
"Is that so? That's not how it looked."
"Don't act like you know everything, you're not God! And besides, you were with your ex, were you betraying me too?"
"How despicable you are, SiJoon... You break me, make me suffer, and then ask for my forgiveness. And then you act like this? Doing it all over again?"
"I wasn't doing anything. I swear to you."
"Just leave me alone."
I walked away quickly, feeling my eyes burn with each step. When I finally reached my car, I cried uncontrollably, denying everything.
I didn't want to believe what my eyes had seen.
I wanted to call JaeMin, but my best friend already had his own problems and couldn't be burdened with mine. So, after taking my time to stop the tears, I drove back home and picked up my two babies, laying them by my side, relying on them alone for support.
Nabi and Noram were still very young, but they provided the balance I needed, so with them by my side, I fell asleep feeling weak.
I only woke up in the evening, hearing their hungry grumbles. So, carefully, I picked them up and put them in the double stroller, guiding it to the living room to have some time to prepare their bottles.
I was too tired to breastfeed naturally.
Therefore, with their cries still ringing in my ears, I hurried to the kitchen to fetch the bottles and milk.
Noram was calmer, just murmuring softly, but Nabi was loud, she liked to cry loudly, and every time her cries grew louder, I became even more flustered.
Carefully, I poured the hot water into the bottles, mixed it with the formula, and shook it quickly, feeling the desperation every time Nabi gained momentum and cried even louder.
With both bottles ready, I checked the temperature and took them with me to the living room.
I couldn't feed them both at the same time, so I found a way to hold Nabi with the bottle in one arm while I rocked and soothed Noram.
At first, it was difficult, but like every nurturing being, I figured it out. When silence finally fell, I held back my tears as I realized how alone I was in that bed.
The clock indicated that it was already 8 p.m., but I knew SiJoon finished work at 6 p.m.
I didn't want to think about what had happened earlier, but I couldn't stop thinking that he was with that woman while I was taking care of our children.
I held back my tears as much as I could, but I couldn't contain them when I saw him enter the house, holding a bouquet of roses in his hands while looking at me.