Chapter 33

“He played me when he fit me for a suit. He told me I’m pretty. That he wanted to touch my hair. That he just wanted it to show it off.” My mouth feels stuffed with cotton, but I force myself to keep talking because I want to explain everything to him. For some reason, telling him now seems like the most important thing in the world. “Flattery, nice words. And reasons to justify the absence of his employees. And then I…”

I take a deep breath and swallow.

“In my nightmares it’s never how it really happened. I’m usually split. One of me is watching and the other is with him. He almost always ties me up. Or forces me to stand a certain way. Or he gets rough and sticks his hands under my shirt. He threatens me. He traps me, somehow.” I lick my lips. “But, in reality, it wasn’t like that. I mean, I know—I knew—what Bob was doing was wrong, and yet it was all more or less… pure.”

I lift my head to look at his face, and I see from his expression that he wishes he hadn’t h