Chapter 59

I stare at the screen, numbing out the noises and images and become so consumed with the fact that this isn’t temporary, no matter what I tell myself, how I spin it and try to delude my heart. This isn’t something that will end, and we can pick up the pieces. This was a choice of one or the other. Even if I kept denying it repeatedly.

Of never being with Sophie ever again, seeing her, hearing her, touching her… needing her, and it strangles me with the force of a steel grip.

I can’t believe I was so blind to this, so stupid of the obvious outcome when choosing what path to follow. I never saw it that way at the time, I kept telling myself it was a means to an end. I never really thought that one choice, one moment of doing the right thing would be an end to her… and me… That I would never be a part of her life ever again. That I would lose every single one of those moments we shared. Innocent moments, movies, jokes, smiles… her smile. Now I see it clearly. Even if she wa