Chapter 42. Saying Goodbye

Waking up, I am in our bed. My dress for the funeral is hanging on the door, a reminder that today is the last chance to say goodbye. I don’t want to but I have no choice in the matter. The past week has been hard. I have been in a trance, an almost zombie-like state, everything going on around me while I just sit and watch, wanting to do something but unable to. I don’t want to get out of bed. That means facing today, saying goodbye and letting him go.

Jackson has been amazing. I have seen a whole new side of BDSM since Marcus has passed. He is helping me get through this in as many ways as he can. He has hardly touched me. He has cuddled me but nothing more. He is giving me space to grieve while being there with me. How he manages it, I don’t know. He has tried telling me about the trial but I just can’t deal with that right now.

Everything that has happened seems to have shut me down. I don’t talk. My days are usually spent in silence watching everyone else aroun