Unknown: Our Happy Ending. Book 3

POV: JaeMin

Waking up in JunKoo's arms was the best thing about my day.

I say with calmness, I love this man with every certainty in me.

We had a somewhat strange but very enjoyable night. I know JunKoo was a little startled by how I woke him up in the middle of the night, but it was only in his arms that I felt safe and found my peace, allowing me to go back to sleep.

I woke up with JunKoo's arms wrapped around me, and his warm breath blowing on my bangs.

Anyone else might complain about having morning breath in their face, but that someone wouldn't have JunKoo's breath in their face, so it's all right. I actually missed it, to be honest.

Still feeling his arms around my body, I smiled and stretched to free my arm and touch his slightly wrinkled face.

He looks like a rock when he's sleeping, not moving at all.

I stay like that for minutes, with gentle and calm caresses, and come to an obvious conclusion about my own life.

I miss JunKoo.

It has been over a week since we slept apart, and that's because I decided it that way. I don't feel angry at JunKoo, not at all, but I still feel that he needs to sort some things out, and maybe with me being away, yet close, he can arrange things in a practical and correct manner.

I understand that JunKoo needs to be close to his best friend, and after everything he told me, I understand that he's sick. However, from what JunKoo told me, he has become dependent, and that, whether I like it or not, scares me because I don't know if his friend will be his cure, if he will stop feeling this way about JunKoo, and I don't know how long we can endure this situation.

I'm not a psychologist or psychiatrist, but if someone is dependent on another person, wouldn't one of the means of treatment be separation? But clearly, JunKoo can't stay far enough because he loves him like a brother, and siblings never leave each other in times like these.

Thinking like that, it's painful for me too because if it were Kim SooJin, the person who has always been with me, my best friend in life and practically a brother too, I wouldn't want to stay away or be without news, so I understand JunKoo's side.

But going back to my initial train of thought, I really miss my JunKoo.

I want to sleep like that with him again, but I wonder, how?

If it were solely up to him, we would sleep together, but it also depends on me, on wanting and feeling good about it because it wouldn't help if only the longing dictated everything, and then we went back to having crises in our still young relationship. But I want to, I really want JunKoo back. I want to kiss him, love him with all that I am, but if there's one thing I've learned, it's this: Wanting is not always enough.

I want to, but I can't.

Maybe I can't sleep with JunKoo because I don't want to interfere with his personal growth in regards to his feelings. If it was me who asked for some time apart, then it's me who should respect it.

And I have no doubts about his true love for me, but my JunKoo's mind is all messed up, and he needs to sort everything out properly, and that's why" only that" I still can't come back like before.

But I want to, oh how I want to...

Leaving a calm and tender kiss on his chin, I untangle myself from his warm and strong embrace.

Walking somewhat dazed, I make my way to Jiwan's little room, and find him sleeping with his mouth open.

I find it strange, of course. Jiwan is always the first to wake up, and I'm usually the last, but today it seems like both he and JunKoo decided to give me a chance to prepare breakfast for everyone.

Just checking if everything is alright, I give Jiwan a kiss on his forehead and quietly leave the room to go to the kitchen. I make my daily juice and JunKoo's coffee. I also take the opportunity to prepare Jiwan's bottle and make some toast.

Right on time, JunKoo appears in the kitchen with his hair all messy, just as Jiwan starts crying. He walks slowly towards the baby and comes back with the most tousled little elephant, smiling.

I observe them both, and you know, just because JunKoo isn't Jiwan's biological father doesn't mean they don't resemble each other. Looking at them now, they look so much alike.

Their cheeks have a faint trace of drool and marks from the sheets. Their eyes focused on me, and their hair sticking up.

I say with certainty, they're so alike.

"I made your coffee," I say with a smile to JunKoo, and he returns an even bigger one. "And Jiwan's too," I lift the bottle.

"I'll brush my teeth and give him a bath," he says and walks back to our room.

I furrow my brow and watch him leave. Is he going to give the baby a bath and take one at the same time?

"JunKoo!" I call, already following behind. "Where are you going to give the baby a bath?"

He puts Jiwan on the bed and starts taking off his pajamas. Then he takes off his own shirt.

And my goodness, how I've missed touching him like this.

"He's going to take a bath with me," he smiles, all excited. I meet his gaze and can't help but smile.

JunKoo is crazy.

"You're crazy," I say. "Are you sure?"

"Mm-hmm," he says, and takes off the baby's diaper, leaving him just as he came into the world. "Do you want to come?"

My eyes may be small, but I'm sure they're wider open at this moment than anything else.

"I'm just kidding," he lets out a laugh, but it's a very strange laugh. "Can you get him some clothes?"

"Sure," I say and leave the room.

I must have changed colors for sure. I don't know if I turned paler due to the sudden question and the shock, or redder due to the sudden embarrassment that came over me.

Heavens, I'm acting like a teenager, and I'm twenty-seven years old!

Still feeling a bit flustered, I go to Jiwan's room and pick out some clothes. The weather is warm, so the clothes need to be light.

I leave a diaper and the clothes on our bed, and I can still hear JunKoo and Jiwan's silly laughter. They're probably having fun in there, and I won't deny it, I really wanted to join in and be a part of all that silliness, but well... I had to settle for just wanting it.

Returning to the kitchen, I gather everything I had prepared. In a practical and cute way, I set the table and wait for them. It doesn't take long for JunKoo and Jiwan to return. Both tidy and smelling good.

Breakfast is peaceful, and I know JunKoo is itching to ask what happened to me yesterday, but he doesn't ask because he's an angel. So, seeing his visible agony in controlling his words, I take the lead.

"Sorry if I scared you with the way I entered the room... I just got scared by the dream, and being alone is not good, and..."

"It's alright, love. I liked that you came to me... I don't want you to suffer alone," he says and smiles. Then he slides his hand across the short distance separating us at the table and holds my hand. "It's our pain... We'll feel it and deal with it together, okay?"

"Okay," I smile, still full of desire, and inch a little closer to him, planting a kiss on his cheek.

That's it, I miss JunKoo so much and I can't contain myself. He must miss me too because he smiles so wide that it fills me with a hope I don't know where it comes from, but I know it's there.

After breakfast, the day went by peacefully. We didn't have any visits from his family or mine. It was just me, him, and Jiwan.

The tranquility of the place allowed me to perform well, and what I thought would only be an attempt to return resulted in two finished paintings.

JunKoo helped me choose where I would place them because honestly, they held too much value to be simply sold.

We placed one of the paintings in Jiwan's room. Did it make sense? Maybe not because it was just a landscape, and it had nothing to do with the decor of a baby's room, but that's what we decided, and we put it there.

The other one was for our room. This one was a bit more difficult because it was a portrait. Not of us, I mean, not entirely. It was a painting of intertwined legs on a hot night. Don't ask me where that creativity came from, it was done in just two days, and it turned out perfect. JunKoo insisted that they were memories, and that's why I painted our intertwined legs, just like we do on nights of love.

Speaking of nights of love... How I miss them.

The last time we had one was a long time ago, even before the incident happened. JunKoo has always been very protective and is afraid that something bad might happen again, but the last time we tried—or rather, I tried—it didn't lead to anything.

He pushed me away and just slept.

I felt embarrassed that day, and after I realized that he was increasingly distancing himself when things got hotter, that's when the doubt crept in.

I won't lie, for three seconds, I actually thought that JunKoo no longer desired me or that, after those messages, he desired someone else.

When JunKoo mentioned the kiss, I thought again, "Wow, I felt so foolish." I really thought that my fiancé, the person I took so long to admit I loved, was with someone else.

But then, I looked at him. I saw.

I know JunKoo, I know him very well. I saw in his wide-eyed, teary gaze that when he told me he hadn't cheated on me, he really hadn't.

This is still complicated, too complicated, but it's resolved, at least partially. He needs to sort things out with his friend, but with me, everything is fine. I don't feel anger, disgust, or anything like that towards him. I feel hurt because he lied, but even though it may never completely disappear, it's always covered by a word, a gesture, or his affection, because I know it's genuine, and it's love, so it's okay.

But then comes this carnal longing. Man, I really want to spend a night with my JunKoo. I want it so much. I want to go back to sleeping and waking up with him every day. I want to hear the sighs he releases with the slightest touch of mine on his skin, to see my JunKoo melting, and I want to feel him.

That's all I want.

But again, I say: Wanting doesn't mean being able to.

So that's how we spent the days.