Chapter 3. To Be Desired

The words of the man sent a shiver down my spine, causing my heart to skip a beat. Oh, how it felt so good to be wanted…to be craved; to be desired.

I giggled, and watched him pull away from me. His eyes were still trained on me, his presence almost like a drug. 

This was a mistake, I should turn and walk away. I should run. I should go back to my seat and continue to be tortured by the mate ceremony of my sister and my ex.

But…I didn’t want that. 

I wanted to be touched. I wanted to be seen. I wanted the blue-eyed devil that was staring right into my soul.

He was trouble, I just knew it. 

No guy this pretty and hot didn’t come with issues. But maybe tonight I was willing to play a little dirty; to take the risk. 

My mom already believed the worst of me anyway. And everyone already saw me as broken and nothing, so it would be stupid to walk away from someone who finally saw me.

Even if it was lust, I didn’t care. I was seen. 

I know, it’s kind of messed up. But I was messed up, so yeah. Don’t blame me, blame the Moon goddess for allowing everything in my life to continuously go to sh*t.

So maybe I did deserve this; a night of hot sex. I was tired of being the good girl. 

I peeled my eyes away from him and looked at my sister. She was seated next to my ex, her smile so big. It looked like he was telling her something. 

She was in love. 

I know the feeling all too well, and if I was being honest, I missed it. I just hope that she would never feel what I felt after falling in love for the first time—rejection. 

I wanted so badly to be truly happy for her, but I couldn’t, if I was being really honest. I was just so hurt. Every second of being here felt like I was being pushed deeper underwater when I didn’t even know how to swim. 

It felt like a knife was being twisted in my chest. I turned away and locked eyes with the blue-eyed man again. “Do you promise?”

He furrowed his brows in confusion and asked, “What? I don’t—I don’t understand.” A small smile played on his lips. 

“Do you promise that you will f*ck my brains out?” I asked.

Those were the dirtiest words that had ever come out of my mouth, but saying them felt right. It felt like I was in control of my life for once.

Or maybe I was just drunk as hell. But it felt like I had some worth for once.

Giveon bit his lower lip and then chuckled after releasing it. He gently reached for my hand, grabbing it and taking me along as he started to walk.

I followed him, laughing as I did. I felt free. As we made our way to the exit, my eyes landed on my mom. She was standing not too far from us.

She was talking to one of her friends but stopped to look at us when she saw us.

My heart dropped and I wanted to yank my hand from Giveon’s grasp, but I didn’t. I dId not owe her anything, I was almost twenty. If I wanted to sleep with a random man, I could!

If I wanted him to f*ck my pain away, I could!

I peeled my eyes away from her and I could hear her calling out my name. I ignored her and followed the guy until we were in the parking lot.

Before he even opened the door, he pushed me against the vehicle and in seconds, his lips slammed into mine. 

I didn’t expect it, but my mind soon caught up with what was happening and I kissed him back. He was dominant, I knew that by just his lips being on mine.

He finally broke the kiss and then chuckled darkly. “I want to be inside of you, Sara.” His voice was hoarse and breathy.

A few people were around and they had their eyes on us but I was too drunk to care. And trust me, sober me would have cared a hundred times over. 

I giggled, my face heating up. 

I wanted him, and I have never wanted anyone this badly before. That kiss had me wanting more, it had my heart pounding. It had me yearning for every inch of that beautiful body of his.

“I’m here, aren’t I?”

He smirked. Then he looked away, walking to the other side of the sports car. He opened his side and got in. I didn’t need to be told, I opened the side of the car, but before I could get in, a voice stopped me.

“Sara!!” It was my mom. I turned to see her walking purposely towards me. “If you dare get into that car, you will regret it!”

“I—“ 

“So being a rejected disappointment and embarrassment to the family isn’t enough? You want to add being a wh*re to the list?” She folded her arms on her chest, narrowing her eyes in anger at me.

Her words stung. They burned deep. But I only scoffed while shaking my head. I have heard worse.

I peeled my eyes off her and opened the door wider before stepping in. She was shouting other hurtful things at me but I closed the door and ignored her.

“Are you okay?” Giveon asked, his eyes on me. He looked worried. “Do you need me to talk to her?”

I ran my hand through my hair before sighing. “No, let’s just go.” Him talking to her would only make things worse.

“Are you sure?”

“Do you want to f*ck me or not?” My tone was clipped when I asked this. But I knew the real person that I was angry at was not him. 

He backed off, and took his attention off me. “You don’t have to tell me twice.” He chuckled under his breath before bringing the car to life. 

Before I knew it, we were already putting enough distance between us and the mate ceremony. 

I allowed the feeling of being drunk to take over, enjoying feeling in control of my life for once. 

Then my phone buzzed. I reached for it and stared at the screen, a text from my mom staring at me. I clicked it open and my heart dropped.

It read: “You’re an ungrateful daughter! All you have ever brought to me is pain and shame! You want to go around screwing random men? Go ahead! But don’t dare show up at my house afterwards! I’m going to throw all your things outside before midnight!”