Chapter 3

Zara’s POV

Antoinette and I were both coffee lovers so I invited her to get a cup at the nearest coffee shop from the school campus. It was she who went to the counter to get our favorites while I looked for a vacant table.

“Are you still with the bastard, Zara?” she immediately asked as soon as she brought our coffee.

I sighed because replying with, “Yes, I am still with Lucas Blackwood.”

Antoinette applauded sarcastically, then she studied my face. I knew she was concerned since she was the first person to know how Lucas has been treating me and our son.

“Be honest with me, Zara. Are you trying to be a saint? Look, it has been six years since that blasted wedding. I expected that you would soon realize that living with that bastard is like living in hell. Every day, I felt guilty for everything that you have been through. It’s my fault,” Antoinette said.

“Don’t blame yourself, Antoinette. It was never your fault. You never forced me to spread my legs before him. I was excited that night,” I confessed, but it was to comfort my friend who seemed too apologetic for my life’s situation.

“You can ask for a divorce. I am sure he would be happy to let you go,” she stated.

“I wish it is that easy,” I answered.

“Why?”

“I signed a contract with him, Antoinette. I can’t just file for divorce. It should be him to initiate such a thing and as his wife, I shouldn’t do anything to tarnish his reputation,” I informed Antoinette and she was aghast.

“Oh, my God! I feel bad for you, Zara. You should do the right thing for your son. It is not healthy for your son to be in a chaotic environment. Besides, I believe that it will be better if you will just go back to your family. To your Mom and Grandpa,” she suggested.

“Honestly, I have been thinking about it lately. I wasted six years, waiting for him to have a change of heart, but it seems, it’s not going to happen anytime soon,” I told her.

“You should stop daydreaming about Lucas falling in love with you, Zara. You are aware it is not going to happen. Look, it has been six years, and still, he didn’t feel anything for you! He doesn’t like you from the beginning, and you know it has always been a one-sided love on your part since college days.”

“You are right,” I agreed because what else could I say?

“Just look for someone who can make you happy. Never settle for less, Zara. Not ever again,” she advised.

“I want to take him out of my system but I don’t know why,” I informed Antoinette of my effort to un-love Lucas Blackwood.

“Get in touch with Nick, again. He can help you forget about the damn bastard!”

“Nicholas Rutherford? For goodness sake, the man could be married as of this moment!”

“Wrong. He is still single, and I believe that he is still waiting for you, Zara. Come on, girl. Divorce the bastard and be happy with Nick,” she suggested maliciously.

“He’s our friend,” I reminded her.

“But he likes you, for sure,” she replied. “If he doesn’t like you, he wouldn’t be depressed when you married Lucas Blackwood,” she told me.

“Don’t assume something that is not true, Antoinette. He was just concerned about me.”

“I know, right? He was concerned when he learned about your pregnancy, but do you know that he was thinking about adopting your child and raising it with you if the damn bastard didn’t marry you?”

“That excuse of a wedding,” I snorted when I recalled the events on my wedding day. It was the most dreadful day of my life!

“Just try, Zara. Nick’s number is still the same,” she said.

“Oh God, stop it, Antoinette! I have no idea why you are so talkative today,” I complained, and she just laughed.

After having our coffee, we spent a couple of minutes in the coffee shop talking some more. However, when Antoinette kept on talking about our friend, Nicholas Rutherford, I decided it was time to end the conversation.

Fortunately, her husband called and wanted her to return to the campus as soon as possible. So, I was able to return home without some drama to do some things.

Then, thirty minutes before my son’s class would end, I would go back to the campus to pick him up. Once, I suggested to Lucas about availing the services of the school bus but he refused. He said I had nothing else to do but to ensure that Enrique was fine.

As soon as I got home, I went to my room. Then, I sat in front of the large vanity mirror.  I stared into my own reflection, and then I smirked with disappointment. I got dark circles around my eyes, my lips were dry, and it seemed that a regular lip balm couldn’t fix it.

I couldn’t even use any skin care freely or it would cause an argument between me and Lucas. Every time I would start caring for myself, he would accuse me of having an affair. He told me that since I forced myself into marrying him, then I have no right to look for someone else. I should endure my time with him.

It wasn’t his style to physically hurt me, but mentally and psychologically, he knew how to torture me.

Later in the day, I picked up my son from school, and after telling him to take it, I immediately went to pamper myself in a bubble bath.

The following day, it was Saturday, so Enrique had no classes. I took him to the nearest grocery store. Actually, it has been one of our bonding moments during the weekend. Sometimes, I wished that Lucas would know how to free his schedule to spend some quality time with Enrique.

“Can I watch tv, Mom?” he asked as soon as we got home from buying groceries.

“Sure,” I answered, and I immediately opened his favorite channel. It was Cartoon Network. When it comes to watching television, he has no access to the remote control.

Actually, I was worried that he might see some news about Gisele, the actress that Lucas was dating. Speaking of Lucas, he didn’t come home last night, and he mentioned he wouldn’t be home for a week. He was probably with Giselle on a Europe tour.

The subdivision we lived in was private because he couldn’t afford to expose his dirty secret. He was so powerful that for six years, he was able to hide the fact that he was no longer a bachelor, but married with one son.

“Will you be okay alone? I will just be in the kitchen to cook your favorite, dear,” I told him, and he nodded in understanding.

Then, I immediately went to the kitchen to prepare his favorite. Vegetables and chicken. I roasted his favorite pumpkin, and then I prepared the ingredients for his favorite fried chicken.

In our home, Lucas wouldn’t dare to touch the food that I cooked. He said it was awful, but my son has no problem with it.  He would always dine out, or he would dine with his family at their family home.

About an hour later, everything was ready, so I immediately returned to the living room where Enrique was busy watching a cartoon show.

“The food is ready,” I informed him but he didn’t say anything. All the time, he would jump up from his seat to check the food with me. “Darling, is there something wrong?”

“I wish Daddy can be like that,” he said while pointing to the television where a Daddy pigeon was playing with his son.

For a moment, my eyes were glued to the television. I wished it was also the case but it was not. When Enrique looked at me with tears in his eyes, my heart was broken a million times. My heart broke for him.

As I sat down with Enrique, I knew that this conversation wasn’t going to be easy. He had been asking questions about his father, and I could see the pain in his eyes.

“Mommy, why doesn’t Daddy love us anymore?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

I took a deep breath, trying to hold back my own tears.

“Sweetheart, sometimes people make choices that hurt others, and it is not your fault,” I explained gently.

“But why did he leave us?” he pressed, his voice quivering.

I struggled to find the right words before I spoke again, “Your father made a choice to leave, and it was a heartless one.

“But why did he do that on Saturday?” my son asked again, looking up at me with confusion.

“I don’t know baby,” I replied, my voice breaking. “Sometimes, people don’t think about how their actions affect others. He is just busy with work,” I lied for the nth time.

Enrique nodded, but I could see the sadness in his eyes. It broke my heart to see him hurting like this, but I knew that I had to be strong for him.

“I wish he is here to play with me,” he said once again.

“Shhhh, always remember that you have me, and I will always be here for you,” I said, pulling him close for a hug.

As we sat there, wrapped in each other’s arms, I knew that this was just the beginning of a long journey, but I also knew that no matter what happened, I would always be there for my son, to help him navigate the pain and confusion that comes with a heartless father.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled.

“Am I adopted?”