Chapter 2. Alone (1)

16 weeks pregnant.

It has been over two months since LinHyun and I broke up.

I heard that he recently returned to Japan, but he never once reached out to see how I or the baby were doing. It was as if we no longer existed to him.

I didn't tell my mother about the breakup; she would freak out.

So I simply looked for a place to stay and began my new journey in life.

I managed to rent a not-so-big apartment in the center of Seoul, perfect for me and my baby.

There were three rooms: mine, the baby's room, and my studio.

I had some unfinished paintings, so spending most of the day locked in the room was almost normal.

I also started my prenatal care. Dr. Kim prescribed me some medications and vitamins that are necessary during pregnancy, as well as some tests to check the baby's development.

I had already scheduled and would soon undergo them, but the anticipation of the first ultrasound was keeping me up at night.

I could only think about how my baby was and how they would be.

To avoid any risks, the doctor asked me to wear masks while painting and not to inhale the paint fumes for more than four hours, as it could be harmful to the baby, but that was a slightly difficult part.

There were some ideas coming to my mind about the paintings I was working on, and most of them were about life and birth.

I was painting some strokes, like a blooming flower with a little bud in the middle, as if it were a small baby connected to the flower.

I felt that way, connected to the baby, and the baby to me, and even though I knew so little about them, I already loved them so much that I would spend hours imagining a future.

Being a single parent wasn't so bad. In fact, I felt good.

There was a recent art exhibition where I managed to showcase nine paintings, and I sold seven of them.

My works weren't anything too elaborate, but they had a unique touch that made them valuable.

With the money from the sales, I managed to get what I needed for the baby's room and layette.

He would need a little room, diapers, clothes, and all the things a baby needs, and I would make sure to buy everything myself because, as LinHyun made it clear, this baby is mine. He explicitly said he didn't want the "thing."

Thing... How could he call a child who shares his DNA a "thing"? Unacceptable.

I carried on with my life calmly, painting, and occasionally stopping in front of the mirror just to check my still-small but already noticeable belly, as I was quite slim and knew it would soon be huge.

"Do you hear me yet?" I stroked my belly, speaking to the baby. "I guess not, huh?" I smiled foolishly. "I hope everything is alright in there. Daddy has already taken all the little pills the doctor prescribed for you to grow strong.

Daddy is very anxious to see you... Next week will be our first ultrasound."

I lay on the floor of the studio, lifted my shirt, and caressed the little bump on my belly.

"Can we already see the gender?" I asked myself. "Daddy hasn't chosen a name for you yet, but I promise to think of a beautiful one, okay?"

I smiled, caressing my belly, and thinking about when I would feel the first kick.

After discovering about the baby, my mind seemed to open up, and wonderful ideas were constantly flowing out of it, ending up on canvases, and almost all of them were about birth.

I leaned the last canvas I had just finished against the wall to let it dry and looked at the clock.

15:40

"Shall we take a stroll?" I said to my little bud inside my belly.

I took a shower, removing the paint marks from my body, and put on comfortable clothes, with a coat on top.

Without a specific destination in mind, I left home.

***

I was walking aimlessly.

Since I live practically in the city center, I decided to just walk around, looking for something interesting.

After a few minutes of searching, I saw a store specializing in baby items and couldn't resist the urge to go in.

There were so many tiny colorful clothes, full of designs and ruffles, that I almost died of cuteness overload.

The tiny baby bottles were the cutest things I had ever seen, and the toys... I was so enchanted by everything that I spent hours in there, which resulted in me leaving the store carrying huge shopping bags.

I had bought several outfits, mostly colorful ones, as I never liked the idea of gender-specific colors for boys or girls, so there were clothes of all colors and styles in the bag.

As I started walking back to my apartment, I felt an uncomfortable pain in the lower part of my belly, but I thought it was just fatigue from being on my feet all day.

I decided to sit on one of the benches in the middle of the center, taking deep breaths to alleviate the discomfort.

The pain started intensifying, getting stronger each time, and I tried to control it. When I felt a sharper pang, I became worried, so I reached for my phone to call a taxi and take me to the hospital as quickly as possible.

While dialing the number, a stronger pang made me let out a sharp scream. The pain was unbearable, and tears were welling up in my eyes, imagining that the worst was happening to my baby.

I may not understand much about pregnancy or parenthood, but I knew that if a person who is expecting a baby feels the pain I'm feeling, it's not a good sign.

With my cry of pain, some people passing by on the street looked at me, but no one stopped to check on me.

I huddled up a bit, feeling the pain return. My hands trembled, and in desperation, I tried to reach for my phone that had fallen by my side.

My eyes grew heavy, and a tear ran down my face. The thought occupying my mind was just one:

I'm losing my baby.

I cried a little more, clutching myself, trying to control the pain, but it wouldn't go away. The phone had fallen a little far, and with the pain haunting me, I couldn't reach it.

People passed by, and some looked alarmed, but in crowded Seoul, it was hard for anyone to stop.

I tried to take deep breaths and reach for my phone once again, but before I could miserably fail once more, a guy stopped next to me and knelt down to retrieve the device.

"Are you okay?"

"M-my baby!"

"How?" He held my arm, trying to give me some support, but it was futile. My body was bent over, feeling the immense pain intensify; I let out another scream of pain, feeling another sharp pang.

"Help me, please..." I clung to him. "My baby, I can't... I'm losing my baby..."

He looked at me for a few brief seconds, seemingly understanding, and impulsively held my body, lifting me up and carrying me in his arms, holding the shopping bag as well.

I clung to his neck, even though I didn't know him, crying in pain.

He put me in a car, which I assumed was his, and quickly sat in the driver's seat.

He started the vehicle, and without warning, he just sped off, driving like a madman.

"Calm down, I'll take you to the hospital."

He held my hand, full of anxiety, and I couldn't say anything, just huddled up in the seat, feeling the pain intensify.

I placed my hand over my belly, trying to somehow alleviate it, but nothing helped.

After a few minutes, the car stopped abruptly, but even before we fully stopped, it honked loudly without pause, making as much noise as possible, signaling that it was an emergency.

"They're coming," he said, holding my hand.

I watched as he got out of the car and circled around. My body was carefully pulled, and he carried me in his arms again as he ran.

Some nurses came running with a stretcher, and without asking anything, they laid me down on it.

"He's bleeding!" one of them shouted, and my desperation grew.

"What happened?" a nurse asked the guy.

"I found him downtown... He was screaming in pain... I think he's pregnant. He won't stop clutching his belly," the guy who brought me said, running alongside the stretcher and the nurses into the hospital.

"Okay, sir. I need you to wait here," the nurse said, passing through a large door and leaving him behind.

"My baby... please... my baby," I whimpered, begging them to save my baby.

"Stay calm. We will do everything we can to help you through this, okay?" a nurse beside me said, smiling.

I looked at her, crying, and nodded desperately.