Chapter 4

By Monday, I was still feeling a bit lethargic because of what happened with Karl and me. After he left, I still waited for a few hours, hoping that Karl would come back.

That's why I waited for him to prove what he said earlier that he will come back. Maybe to lighten up or something, but I'm just laughing to myself.

Do I regret what I did?

Did I get hurt?

A little but bearable and I know for myself that I can move on in just a few days. Also, I'm used to this situation.

I sighed again at what happened to Karl and me. Because I expected that Karl and I would last at least a year. Well, it's not my loss. Maybe I only fooled Karl Rosales for two months.

In the evening, I left the house and had dinner outside for a change. There is a new restaurant not far away and it's just one ride from my house. After all, it's the weekend, I didn't take a taxi anymore and just took a jeep. He is not fine dining. Only barbecue and barbecue but the location is good. It's on the rooftop and overlooks the entire city.

So, when I arrived at Joaquin's, I immediately chose a seat, the one in the corner so I wouldn't be disturbed. Why, when someone tries to block my line of vision, I get distracted right away.

I ordered a chicken breast and grilled milkfish. It's normal at Joaquin's to eat quite a lot on a Saturday night so I amuse myself first by browsing online. I almost passed out to unblock Karl, but I was really strong.

"Here's your order Ma'am," said the staff when he delivered my ordered dinner.

"Thank you," I said as he arranged my food on the table, as well as the drink I ordered.

When the woman left, I immediately started eating. I think I've only tasted good barbecue at Joaquin's. Their food doesn't skimp on spices, so it's okay even if it's a bit pricey.

I was just bending down when I heard a familiar voice in the distance. I looked up and looked for the man who spoke. I smiled so that he would notice and I didn't really look down so that he would know that I saw him with someone else.

It seems like it will take a while before he notices me because he is still busy taking care of his girlfriend. He even supported the woman as she sat down. My eyes rolled in annoyance because the woman was not crippled to be treated like that, or I was just jealous because she had never done that to me.

When I couldn't stand the conversation between the two, I stood up and approached their table. I smiled again to get the two's attention and when Karl looked up, he immediately turned pale.

"Hon!" Karl spoke in shock.

"Stop acting, will you?" Then I grabbed money from my wallet and took out a thousand. "I answered that the two of you will have dinner so that your problems will not increase. By the way, that burger steak that spilled was Gwen's, right? It doesn't matter, don't answer and I might hit you in front of a lot of people."

After saying that I left Joaquin's. My blood boiled as I went down the stairs so I angrily tortured the man who was following me because he had been calling me earlier.

"Why?" I suspected him and immediately regretted it when I met the staff who served my food earlier.

"Here's your change," said the man and immediately gave me the change of one thousand I paid earlier.

"That's yours," I said in a disgusted voice. I thought that Karl followed me!

"Thank you. Do you want us to wrap the chicken?” the man asked while looking at my hand.

"Yes please," I said and gave him the grilled chicken breast I was holding.

"Just wait for me here, Ma'am and I'll be right back," he said.

I just nodded but when I didn't see him anymore, I quickly went down the stairs and when I got to the bottom I immediately hailed a taxi. It was Karl's fault that I was embarrassed by the staff!

As I expected, Karl has completely moved on and stopped bothering me. After all, what else can I expect when he is already married and has a child? I was really blown away by that one because besides turning me into a sugar mommy, I even became a fixture.

I thought maybe it was time to think about it. Looks like I'm just wasting time and money.

It's a weekday so I don't do much. I don't like going to church but I thought I had to go to church that day as the beginning of my change.

I intend to change myself and it is only right that I am leaving EC to start over faster.

After I showered, I immediately looked for something to wear to church. Unfortunately, I don't have any clothes to wear. Just pants. I just sighed as I took a pair of blue skinny jeans and paired them with a black long-sleeved polo. 

Since I was alone at home, I didn't bother to cook breakfast and went straight to the nearest Jollibee. I'll just eat there, I thought.

I admit that I was careless with my money and wealth but I tried to be selfish and put my own well-being first but I couldn't handle it.

Whenever I hear that they have a need, I don't hesitate to give it because I think that I might be the only one who can really help them. I thought about what would happen if I didn't help them as I had the ability to help.

I didn't notice that I was addicted.

That's my vice. And I didn't realize that abusive people had entered my life. I was used. I used my helpfulness to others. I felt so bad for myself because I was careless. I admit that I like how they flatter me. I loved the attention they gave me even though I knew there was something in return.

Why is that?

Did I think I was a strong and independent type of woman? Why do I still crave that attention?

In all my life, I have never had someone ask how I was really doing. If I have food if my health is okay, etcetera. When will I be able to experience your attention and care? to give to someone?

Is there someone who can repay my efforts every time I fall in love? Is there someone who, even though he is doing something else, I still think about him? Will someone ever come into my life that I don't have to beg or pay attention to? Is there someone who will join me in his dream?

If anything, I hope he comes soon before I lose hope of experiencing it.

It's embarrassing to admit it, but I guess being strong and independent is only on the outside because deep inside, I also want to experience being taken care of, loved, and truly loved. I want to experience that you will turn me into a baby, that I will be spoiled for attention, and that I will be the priority.

When will that be?

When will I experience that kind of love? I just sighed while looking away because I was also confused if something was wrong with me.

As I expected, Karl has completely moved on and stopped bothering me. After all, what else can I expect when he is already married and has a child? I was really blown away by that one because besides turning me into a sugar mommy, I even became a fixture.

I thought maybe it was time to think about it. Looks like I'm just wasting time and money.

It's a weekday so I don't do much. I don't like going to church but I thought I had to go to church that day as the beginning of my change.

I intend to change myself and it is only right that I am leaving EC to start over faster.

After I showered, I immediately looked for something to wear to church. Unfortunately, I don't have any clothes to wear. Just pants. I just sighed as I took a pair of blue skinny jeans and paired them with a black long-sleeved polo. 

Since I was alone at home, I didn't bother to cook breakfast and went straight to the nearest Jollibee. I'll just eat there, I thought.

Last night, before going to sleep, I updated my Airbnb listing. I'm serious about having extra income especially since I'm leaving EC. It's been a few months and I don't have a regular salary anymore so I need that.

My taxi bill came to ninety pesos. When I came down I looked up to the sky to inform whoever was above to guide me in my life plans.

"Good morning, Ma'am," greeted the security guard when I entered the fast food.

"Good morning to you too, chief," I replied.

Upon entering, I went straight to the counter. "A chicken joy breakfast and hot choco to drink," I told the crew after he asked.

"Is there anything additional?"

"Maybe just bottled water, thank you," I said to him and looked around while waiting for the total to be paid, then I handed him the exact amount.

I only waited a little while for my order and when everything was ready, I immediately looked for a place to sit.

I inhaled the smell of fried chicken before I drank the hot choco and I was so embarrassed that my tongue almost burned.

"It's hot choco," said the person next to me.

I was annoyed by the man's tone because it made me look like I wasn't trained. When I looked at his behavior, my eyes immediately widened.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him.

"Eating," he answered.