My Name Is Lucy. Book 1
- Genre: LGBTQ+
- Age: 18+
- Status: Completed
- Language: English
- Author: Little Maze
This is the life story of a transgender girl, so welcome and get ready to fall in love with her adventures.
Dreams are born like clouds in the sky.
That's how Lucy saw things.
Walking with her hair flying and brushing against her eyes, she admired the beauty of the free birds in the sky. She longed to live in that same way, free to go wherever they pleased. But unfortunately, it seemed that in her life, choices were a little more difficult than simply deciding whether to fly or perch on a tree full of flowers.
She felt trapped within herself every day.
She wanted to run, to rid herself of the weight, but how could she? In her own home, fear made her true personality and inner self remain locked away, living under a cloak of lies and assumptions, just to please the one who gave her life.
To live freely, to wear skirts and stockings like any other girl her age.
Lucy hated herself so much that she would cry every morning, asking God why He, as the most perfect and kind being that her mother claimed He was every day, had done this to her.
She didn't even choose to be this way.
But like every day, that was another day where she would put on her cloak and transform into him.
Adjusting the tie one last time in front of the mirror, she grumbled and sighed. She despised how it itched her neck. But it was a rule. The male uniform had to be complete, and she, as him, couldn't do anything about it.
"Woojin, you're going to be late!"
That's what she heard from her mother, as she shouted from the bottom of the stairs, just like every morning.
Lucy rushed, aware that she had to hurry, or else she would truly be late, missing the bus that always arrived at the same time and his company, always waiting for her at the same spot.
She swallowed a hormone pill she had been taking before heading downstairs and kept the rest in a box under her bed.
As she descended the stairs, Lucy tried to fix her hair, tucking some strands behind her ears, but they always stubbornly fell back into her eyes.
"Boy, look at the time," her mother said as she reached the kitchen. "Woojin, what kind of tie knot is that?" She pointed, and Lucy lowered her gaze, not quite understanding what was wrong. "You can't go around like this, especially not to school. You're seventeen, you're already a man."
"No, Mom, I'm not."
That's what Lucy thought in that moment as her mother shook her back and forth, straightening the tie completely.
"Great," her mother smiled, looking into her daughter's eyes. "You'll never find a girlfriend looking so sloppy."
"I don't want a girlfriend."
"Of course you do, every boy your age does. Soon you'll be old enough to get married and have a good woman to take care of you and your home."
"For God's sake, Sun-ha, leave the boy alone," Jungso, Lucy's father, entered the room, speaking up. The man looked at his daughter and smiled.
He was always the one to save her from Jeon Sun-ha's nagging.
"Thank you, Dad," Lucy whispered, smiling.
"Thank you, Woojin, with an 'O' at the end," her mother spoke again. "Men say 'thank you,' women say 'thank you.'"
"Okay, Mom... bye."
The girl was no longer interested in wasting time with nonsense, especially coming from her mother, who always brought up the same subject of how she needed to behave and organize herself to find a girl.
She hurriedly walked to reach the corner of her street, and when she arrived, she smiled, as enamored as she had always been since she was thirteen, seeing him in front of her, waiting for her to go to school together.
"Woojin, you're late!" Park Ryeon shouted.
Park Ryeon... her crush.
Well, in reality, he was more of a friend, just that, but Lucy carried a secret crush on him since she was thirteen, and it grew stronger with each passing day.
"Sorry, Ryeon," she apologized, adjusting the strap of her backpack as she stood in front of him. "Can we go now?"
"We should, or we'll miss the bus."
Walking side by side, Lucy smiled at the silly things Ryeon told her he had done over the weekend.
He had been to the amusement park and rode the roller coaster seven times in a row, and on the last ride, he vomited into his own shoes.
"You're crazy," Lucy exclaimed.
"I'm a daredevil, it's different," Ryeon replied, smiling and subtly brushing his arm against hers.
They walked together, almost glued to each other.
And it was always like that.
Whenever their skins touched, Lucy always remembered that Friday night when Ryeon made her heart beat so fast that she thought she would die at thirteen.
They were both sitting on Lucy's dull pastel blue bed. They were discussing a movie they had just watched, and whenever Ryeon smiled, he would throw himself onto her thighs. It was his habit.
A habit that Lucy quite enjoyed.
She felt even closer to him.
And in that moment, Ryeon had thrown himself onto her, laughing at one of the scenes from the movie they remembered, and for just one second, time simply stood still.
Lucy could feel the way Ryeon gradually stopped smiling and stared at her, his expression completely changing.
"Can I tell you a secret?"
That's what Ryeon whispered, close to her. The boy had a mischievous smile on his lips, which made her nod, curious.
"I had my first kiss."
And as if knives pierced her young heart, Lucy felt, for the first time, the pain of disappointment.
In that moment, she realized how foolish she had been. She was starting to recognize herself more as a girl, realizing that she had never been seen the way everyone else saw her, and she thought Ryeon could notice her in that way. In the real way.
"Really?" she asked, staring at their hands clasped together in her lap.
Her throat felt tight; she didn't even know it would hurt so much to have such a realization. And what would she do? Would she scold the boy for kissing a mouth that wasn't his own? She couldn't.
"And I can show you how it feels..." Ryeon whispered again, biting his lower lip.
And in that moment, with Ryeon still too close, she truly thought she would die.
Her heart pounded strongly as her eyes opened wide. The pain she had felt before was replaced by nervousness, and her body became even more restless. She saw Ryeon smile even more, sneaking closer to her.
And she didn't push him away. She saw him close his eyes and took a deep breath before doing the same.
Would it really be like this? Would she kiss him so easily?
And yes, she kissed him.
She felt Ryeon's plump lips gently press against hers, and even without any other movements, Lucy sighed in pure pleasure.
It felt like a dream come true, or if she wanted to go further, the sensation felt like running through a rainbow, leaping towards the pot of gold.
She was still very confused. She wanted Ryeon to see her as a girl, but she hadn't thought of kissing him until then.
But she didn't care in that moment. That act became her favorite in the whole world.
She wanted to kiss and kiss Ryeon until their lips grew tired and swollen.
That's when she felt Ryeon go further, placing a hand on her nape and running his fingers through her short hair. The boy also sighed and timidly placed his tongue on her lower lip, massaging it.
And Lucy froze.
She didn't know what to do, but she had watched enough movies to know that she had to put her tongue against his to go further, and so she did.
Timidly, just as Ryeon had done with her, Lucy touched Ryeon with her tongue, feeling the softness and moisture of his muscle, receiving it and getting to know it.
And even though it was awkward, the touch was good. It was interesting how Park led that with desire. It felt like a dance, and he danced it very well.
And that's how Jeon had her first kiss.
No one interrupted them in that moment, to the salvation of both.
She didn't know how she would react if Sun-ha saw something like that. It was possible that she would take her to a church and ask a priest to exorcise her, because clearly those were demonic acts that possessed human bodies.
But Lucy didn't feel like there were demons inside her.
But that's what her mother said every time she saw a gay couple or anyone from the community that didn't fit the heterosexual norm.
But snapping out of her teenage infatuation, Lucy saw Ryeon sit on the bus stop bench, oblivious, looking at his phone, not paying her much attention.
She thought he didn't even remember it anymore, she was just being foolish.