Chapter 42

Why the hell do I feel this way?

I ran my overwhelmed hand over my face badly, wiping away the tears while I leaned against a tree to calm down. I wanted everything to stop; I wanted to stop feeling. I didn’t need the feelings because I was never made for them. My life began with suffering, and it will end the same way.

I felt the wind begin to pick up around me, realizing that my fists were in contact with the damp earth full of small stones, fine sand, leaves, and perhaps half-rotted weeds. I stopped touching the earth as I repeatedly ran my palms over my legs, trying to calm my powers, but it was practically impossible. Inside me was a tornado of uneasiness and sadness that I still didn’t know how to calm down exactly; Nix used to give me an option that calmed my nerves, letting her maneuver more calmly the exact potions to be able to calm my demons for a while.

The small breeze intensifi